As I continue reading I find myself spending quite a bit of time thinking about community and relationships. Guinness makes the observation that the call of Jesus is personal but not purely individual, and that simple statement hit me differently this time than it did when I first read the book.
I spent a lot of years assuming I was fairly "extroverted".
But then the truth came out more than a few years ago- one of my daughters looked across the dinner table during a family meal and said, "Dad, we all know you're a highly functioning introvert." Everybody laughed. Including me.
But as is often the case, there was probably more truth in the statement than I wanted to admit.
The funny thing is that if you had known me in middle school or high school, you might have come to a completely different conclusion. I was in plays. I enjoyed being around people. I liked making people laugh. I was usually comfortable speaking in front of groups and never had much trouble stepping into leadership roles.
Looking back, I think some of that was being the oldest child and some of it was simply learning how to function in the environments God placed me in.
But somewhere along the way, probably beginning in my late teens and continuing through college and adulthood, I started noticing something else. I kept drifting inside my brain.
Not lonely. Just alone. - Those are very different things.
Some people hear the word solitude and immediately think of isolation or sadness. That has rarely been my experience. Some of my favorite moments have involved a book, a journal, a fishing rod, a long walk, or simply sitting quietly thinking about life. And the Holy Spirit communes with me there.
Even writing these devotionals is a product of solitude. The problem, however, is that every strength has a shadow side.
Solitude is a wonderful place to think, pray, read, write, and reflect. It is also a wonderful place to become self-absorbed if you're not careful.
One of the reasons I hesitate even writing about this is because I don't want to accidentally glorify withdrawal. Jesus withdrew frequently, but He withdrew to pray. My own retreats into solitude have not always been nearly that noble.
Sometimes they have simply been easier. People are hard. But when you get away from them they become even harder and to them you are just weird.
And if you're wired the way I am, there is always a temptation to retreat into a private world where everything feels more manageable.
The older I get, however, the more I realize how much of God's work in my life has happened through other people. My wife has certainly shaped me. My children have shaped me. Where would I be without them!
Friends, coaches, pastors, teachers, co-workers, and even difficult people have shaped me.
In fact, when I think about the most important lessons I have learned, very few came from sitting alone in a room. Most came through relationships. Sure, I get away and reflect... this helps me to withdraw the marrow from the encounters so to speak- but without human interaction, there is less to evaluate and you lose out on opportunities to learn and grow.
That may be why Guinness spends so much time emphasizing that calling is never merely individual. God certainly calls us personally, but He almost always works out that calling in the context of families, churches, friendships, schools, teams, and communities.
I suppose that shouldn't surprise us. One of the first things God says in Scripture is, "It is not good for man to be alone."
That was true before the Fall, which means loneliness and isolation are not merely consequences of sin. We were created for fellowship from the beginning.
I still enjoy my "turtle days." I suspect I always will. There are times when I need quiet in order to think clearly. But I have also learned that if I stay in that shell too long, I begin to lose perspective.
The truth is that I need people far more than I admit.
And one of the gifts of growing older is realizing that dependence is not weakness. It is simply part of how God designed us.
Maybe that is part of what Guinness is getting at in this chapter. Calling is not something we discover and carry out by ourselves. God places us in communities not because they are efficient or easy, but because they are one of the primary ways He shapes us.
Our culture does very little to encourage community- Satan rages against it- he wants us to hate our neighbor, not spend time with them. He wants to sow conspiracy, and misunderstanding.... God wants us together in groups as individuals (there is a really big distinction here- not a mass amount of people under the rule of an authoritarian, living like robots... NO- God wants us to engage in groups, learn together, activate individual gifts, and even disagree with understanding- a true body of unity and not unanimity- Unity is not thinking alike; it is working together despite not thinking alike.)
As I think about this June Tune-Up, I find myself grateful for the people God has placed in my life. Some have encouraged me. Some have challenged me. Some have frustrated me. Most have done all three.
And even though I disappear at times to heal up and think- at some point I need to re-engage with others. I am very bad at being a Lone Ranger.
And confessing these realities is also a path to healing and restoration. This is Day 15- are you re-discovering 'normal' yet? Get around a few others and just laugh. Not everything has to be serious! It's ok even to laugh at yourself- you don't have to judge every flaw.
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