I think Christians sometimes overcomplicate the idea of calling.
Jesus’ invitations were actually pretty direct and understandable. “Follow me.” “Repent.” “Take up your cross.” “Love one another.” Before Christians are called to a particular profession, ministry, or assignment, they are first called to Christ Himself. Guinness says it well when he writes that our primary calling is “by Him, to Him, and for Him.”
That Primary call (THE CALL) does not really change-
But “a” call often does.
The assignments change. Roles change. Seasons change. Sometimes doors open and sometimes they close very abruptly, even when we believed we were exactly where God wanted us to be.
I learned that lesson pretty painfully in 2010.
After seven years of ministry work in Nashville, the door suddenly closed. Looking back, I can honestly say I was not in a healthy place emotionally when all of that happened. I was hurt, angry, embarrassed, disappointed, and honestly pretty scared about the future. Losing a position or ministry role has a way of exposing how much identity you may have quietly attached to it.
When you put your your heart and soul into something- it is more like a painful divorce than just a job loss.
Thankfully, a friend of mine helped negotiate a severance package that gave us something incredibly valuable at the time: breathing room. Instead of immediately scrambling into the next opportunity, I had a few months to slow down and think clearly again.
That season ended up becoming much more important than I realized at the time.
For about three months, I settled into a rhythm that was probably as emotionally and spiritually healthy as anything I could have done. I would wake up early, spend a long time reading Scripture and praying, and then go on long runs through Nashville trying to process the frustration and anger that was still sitting pretty close to the surface. I ended up running the Music City Marathon that year, which probably tells you how much running I was doing.
After that I would spend part of the day exploring job opportunities and trying to figure out what came next.
What became very obvious during that season was how difficult it is to make wise decisions when your emotions are running the show. Hurt and ambition can cloud discernment pretty quickly. Fear can too. Pride certainly can.
And honestly, when many of us say we are “praying about a decision,” what we often mean is that we are slowly moving toward what we already want to do while hoping God agrees with us.
I know I have done that more than once.
At the time, I had several opportunities in front of me, including two head football coaching positions. If I am being honest, those opportunities appealed to parts of me that wanted affirmation, significance, and maybe even redemption after the way things had ended in Nashville.
But somewhere during that season I started putting together what I eventually called “The Decision Grid.” It was not anything sophisticated. It was really just an attempt to think more carefully and prayerfully about decisions instead of reacting emotionally.
My wife and I began asking questions that had less to do with titles and more to do with stewardship.
Would this be healthy for our family?
Would this strengthen or strain our marriage?
Would I be building something meaningful or simply rebuilding my ego?
Would this move help me serve people well?
Was I choosing something because it genuinely seemed wise, or because I wanted to prove something?
As we prayed through those questions, I slowly realized that returning to Briarwood was probably the better decision for our family, even though I knew it likely meant I would never again be a head football coach.
At the time, that was difficult to accept. Looking back now, I am deeply thankful for it.
I think one of the mistakes people make with calling is assuming that God’s will always leads toward bigger titles, greater visibility, or more impressive opportunities. Sometimes God’s assignments move in quieter directions than we expected.
Sometimes He redirects us toward faithfulness instead of recognition. Sometimes He strips away roles we had quietly started depending on for identity.
But through all of those changes, “THE CALL” remains steady even when “a” call changes.
Follow Christ. Love people. Walk faithfully. Serve where God has placed you.
The assignments may change over time, but the Shepherd does not.
And honestly, there is a lot of peace in that.
I wanted to share with you this "Decision Grid"- see below.
So looking backwards..... I have had many unplanned changes and events- the secondary calling changed- and moving forward, it helps to trust Him more.
I will write on this in more detail later.....
Song Link: Looking Backward
Coach Jay Mathews’ Decision Grid- A Biblical Framework for Discernment and Calling
1. Start With God’s General Will
Before major decisions, search Scripture for God’s revealed will and boundaries. A foundational passage is 1 Thessalonians 4:1–3
[1] Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. [2] For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. [3] For this is the will of God, your sanctification.....
(11] and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, [12] so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. (ESV)
God’s Word Is My Authority
My motive is to please God by:
Prayer
Reading Scripture
Fellowship — especially with my wife
Discipline that honors God
Loving others — especially my wife and children
Worship
2. The Life I Should Aspire To
1 Thessalonians describes:
A Quiet Life — not driven by noise, image, or comparison
Self-Evaluation — examining myself instead of others
Work & Stewardship — working diligently and using my gifts faithfully
Responsibility — providing for my family and avoiding dependence on others
3. Questions for Major Decisions
Kingdom
Is it loving?
Can I proclaim the Gospel?
Does it promote God or me?
Will it help build God’s Kingdom?
Character
Will I be a giver or taker?
Does it challenge me?
Will our family grow spiritually?
Responsibility
Is it responsible?
Does it provide for my family?
Will it create dependence on others?
Counsel
What does my wife think?
4. Reminders About God’s Guidance
God Guides — But He Expects Wisdom
“I will instruct you and teach you…” — Psalm 32:8
“Do not be like the horse or mule…” — Psalm 32:9
God expects me to:
Use common sense
Think clearly
Walk wisely
Stay sensitive to His voice
If we remain quiet before Him, the Shepherd’s voice pierces the darkness.
5. The Danger of Self-Deception
This is easy to say and hard to live because we naturally drift toward what we want.
Often “I’m praying about it” becomes- “The Slow No”
Common Tendencies
We choose what we already want and use prayer to justify it.
Peer approval matters more than God’s approval.
We choose pride, power, and status over humility and service.
We collect supporting evidence while ignoring opposing wisdom.
6. Warnings About Calling and Ambition
“Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ… The aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him.”
“To make a career choice on selfish grounds is probably the greatest single sin any young person can commit…”
“The call of Jesus is personal but not purely individual…”
7. The Danger of Comfort and Drift
“My mental fatigue is now greater than the bodily. It is so pleasant to sit doing nothing—and therefore so dangerous. Death through exhaustion is like death through freezing—a pleasant one.” Reinhold Messner, Everest—The First Solo Ascent (1989) quoted in Krakauer’s Into Thin Air
Fatigue dulls:
conviction
attention
memory
discipline
purpose
Spiritual drift rarely feels dangerous in the moment.
8. Faithfulness in the Ordinary
Oswald Chambers wrote:
“We do not need the grace of God to stand crises… but it does require the grace of God to live every day as a saint.”
“We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things.”
The Christian life is not mainly dramatic moments, but:
holiness in ordinary places
faithfulness in unnoticed moments
obedience in everyday life
The call is not merely to do exceptional things for God, but to be faithful to Him in all things.
Final Anchor
Be peaceful.I am His child.
He will be with me — no matter what.
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