Life Is Lived Forward- Day 8- June R&R

One of my favorite observations in Os Guinness' The Call comes from Søren Kierkegaard:

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."

When I first read that quote years ago, I thought it was clever - Now I think it is true.

The older I get, the more I realize how little I understood what God was doing while I was living through it. After six decades-  I can look back and see patterns, connections, providences, and lessons that were completely invisible to me at the time.

That is probably one reason why discussions about calling can become so frustrating.

Most of us want clarity about the future. We want a map. We want certainty.

We want God to show us the next ten steps before we take the first one.

But that is rarely how He seems to work.

Instead, He usually gives enough light for the next step and asks us to trust Him with the rest.

One of the sayings Coach Bear Bryant used frequently was "Expect the unexpected." What made that interesting was that it came from someone who prepared for everything. Nothing happened accidentally in his program. Situations were rehearsed. Contingencies were discussed. Players were trained to think ahead.

And yet even Bryant understood that no amount of preparation could account for every twist and turn of a football game. Life is  the same way.

When I was younger, I thought calling was mostly about discovering the right path and staying on it. Looking back now, I think calling has involved far more surprises than I ever expected.

If you had asked me at age twenty-five where I would be at sixty-two, I would have missed almost every major turn in the road. I would not have predicted Nashville. I certainly would not have predicted leaving Nashville. I would not have predicted returning to Briarwood. I would not have predicted moving from coaching into administration.

And I definitely would not have predicted spending part of my days thinking about maintenance schedules, HVAC systems, construction projects, and the relentless reality of entropy.

Yet here I am. And when I look backward, I can see God's hand in all of it.

Not perfectly. Not exhaustively. There are still chapters I do not fully understand. There are still disappointments I would not have chosen. There are still questions I carry.

But I can see enough to trust Him with the parts I do not understand.

That is one reason I think Christians sometimes become too anxious about discovering "God's will." We want certainty about assignments when God is often more concerned about faithfulness.

Os Guinness repeatedly makes the point that our primary calling is always to Christ Himself. Our secondary callings may change many times over the course of a lifetime.

Here is what I am trying to press so far as we tune up- as we rest and reflect- as we seek restoration and recovery (the R&R can be a lot of things!)

The assignment changes. The calling does not.

The location changes. The calling does not.

The title changes. The calling does not.

When Peter writes in 1 Peter 3 to "always be prepared," we often think immediately about apologetics and defending the faith. That is certainly part of the passage. But the context is larger than that. Peter is writing to people whose lives were being disrupted by suffering, opposition, uncertainty, and circumstances they would not have chosen.

In other words, people whose plans were not unfolding as expected.

His encouragement is not to panic but to honor Christ as Lord and remain faithful.

That sounds simple until life becomes complicated. I was thinking- We all love the “Providence of God” until it punches us in the mouth! We obey God in the “Yes” moments, but act like whinny b****t**es when it doesn’t.

One of the things I have learned over the years is that God often prepares us for assignments long before we realize why He is doing it. Skills learned in one season become useful in another. Relationships formed decades earlier suddenly matter. Hard experiences that seemed pointless at the time become sources of wisdom later.

At the moment, those experiences often feel disconnected. Looking backward, they begin to fit together.

I liken it to working like crazy and as you do it, you are kicking up dust. That dust is everywhere and you can't see anything. Work, work, work... then you fall down exhausted and feel like all is lost. While you lay there... the dust settles and you look back- and what you have built takes your breath away... you didn''t feel progress, but now you SEE it. and now it's time to begin again.

That is the backward look- not like Lot's wife.. it isn't disobeying Jesus when the hand is on the plow- this is just 'getting my bearings'.

That does not mean every event makes sense. It does not mean every tragedy can be neatly explained. It certainly does not mean every disappointment was enjoyable.

It simply means that God is often doing more than we can see.

Oswald Chambers once wrote:

"The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him."

I have thought about that quote often over the years.

Many of us become consumed with trying to discover the assignment. We want to know where we are supposed to go, what we are supposed to do, and how everything is supposed to work out.

Meanwhile, God is inviting us into something deeper than vocational clarity.

He is inviting us into fellowship with Himself.

Perhaps that is why so much of life only makes sense in reverse.

We live, trust, obey forward. - But every once in a while, God allows us to look backward and catch a glimpse of His faithfulness.

And when we do, it becomes a little easier to trust Him with the next unexpected turn in the road.

As part of this June Tune-Up, it may be worth spending a little time looking backward before looking forward.

Most of us spend a great deal of energy trying to predict what comes next. Perhaps a better exercise is to ask where we have already seen God's hand at work.

What are some unexpected turns that ultimately became blessings?

What disappointments redirected you toward something better?

What relationships, opportunities, or hardships seemed confusing at the time but make more sense now?

Where have you seen God's providence most clearly?

And perhaps the hardest question of all:

What part of your future are you struggling to trust Him with today?

Take some time this week to write down a few of those moments. You may discover that the same God who was faithful in the chapters you now understand is also faithful in the chapters you are still living.

Link: Looking Backwards

Verse 1
At twenty-five I had a plan,
A straight-line dream all mapped by hand,
Certain where the road would bend,
Certain how the story'd end.
I thought calling was a destination,
A finish line I had to find,
Never knew that God was working
Through a thousand turns behind.
Verse 2
Coach said, "Expect the unexpected,"
Every bounce and every break,
You can practice every situation,
Still not know what turn it'll take.
Life has felt a lot like that now,
Years of plans and sudden turns,
Some lessons only make sense later,
Some truths are slow to learn.
Chorus
I can see it now looking backwards,
All the roads I never would have drawn,
Every closed door, every hard turn,
Every place I thought that You were wrong
I couldn't read the map while I was walking,
Couldn't see the reason for the rain,
But life makes sense looking backwards,
And faith keeps moving me forward again.
Verse 3
I never saw that loss coming,
Never saw myself in pain,
I left to conquer hills and mountains,
Never thought I'd come back home again.
And some days I laugh about it,
Some days I shake my head,
Thinking how the Lord kept writing
Chapters I would've never read.
Chorus
I can see it now looking backwards,
All the roads I never would have drawn,
Every closed door, every hard turn,
Every place I thought that You were wrong.
I couldn't read the map while I was walking,
Couldn't see the reason for the rain,
But life makes sense looking backwards,
And faith keeps moving me forward again.
Bridge
The title changed,
The town changed,
The work beneath my hands.
The faces changed,
The season changed,
The shape of all my plans.
But the call stayed,
The voice stayed,
The Shepherd stayed the same.
And after all these winding years,
He still calls me by name.
Chorus
Now I can see it looking backwards,
Though there's still some roads I don't understand,
Some prayers unanswered,
Some questions linger,
Still resting in Your hands.
And I may never know the reasons
For every valley, every pain,
But life makes sense looking backwards,
And faith keeps moving me forward again.
Outro
So I'll take the next step You give me,
Leave tomorrow where it belongs,
Trusting all the miles behind me
Prove You've led me all along.
Life is understood backwards,
But it's lived moving forward on.

The First Call- Day 7- June R&R

One of the things that happens when you revisit old writing from a decade ago is that you begin to see not only how your writing has changed, but how your understanding has changed too.

This summer I will turn 62 years old, and that means I have now been walking with Christ for approximately 47 years. Honestly, the longer I live, the more I understand Kierkegaard’s observation from Chapter 6 of The Call: “Life is lived forward but understood backward.”

That feels more true to me now than it did when I first read it years ago.

There are moments in life that do not seem especially clear while you are living them, but years later you realize they changed everything.

For me, one of those moments happened when I was a junior in high school.

A friend of ours had died tragically, and a group of us had gathered to meet with a pastor who was trying to help a bunch of hurting and confused teenagers process what had happened. I do not remember much about the meeting itself anymore, but I do remember leaving there unsettled.

The truth is, even though I had grown up around church, had walked an aisle, and had even been baptized, I was not really walking with God at all during that period of my life. I lived pretty independently and mostly did what I wanted to do. Looking back, I probably thought of Christianity more as part of my background than the defining reality of my life.

That night something changed.

I remember walking outside afterward and one of my friends came looking for me. We stood out on a dark street talking for a while, and he shared the gospel with me again. I had heard those truths hundreds of times before, but this time it was different. I cannot explain that fully except to say that the Holy Spirit was drawing me.

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. [9] But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” [10] And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” [11] He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” (Genesis 3:8-11 ESV)

When I read Genesis 3 now, I think differently about God’s question to Adam: “Where are you?”

Obviously, God knew where Adam was. The question was not for God’s information. It was for Adam.

Adam was hiding,ashamed,afraid,separated…. For the first time of his life.

And honestly, that was exactly where I was too, even if I could not have explained it clearly at the time.

I drove home that night, sat down beside my bed, and finally stopped pretending everything was fine. I had made plenty of empty promises to God before. I had gone through emotional moments before. I had tried short-lived “reforms” before.

But this felt different.

I do not remember the exact words I prayed that night, but I remember the honesty of it. I remember admitting my sin, my fear, my confusion, and my need for Christ. I remember finally understanding that my problem was deeper than bad habits or bad decisions. I needed forgiveness and grace.

I got up- no fireworks or drama- in fact, I just went to sleep.

But when I woke up the next morning, I knew something had changed.

One of the first things I remember doing was telling my closest friends. We were riding around together the next day and I was nervous about saying anything because I honestly did not know how they would react.

Finally I just said it.

“Last night I gave my life to the Lord.”

One of them looked over and simply said, “Cool.”

And then we kept driving.

That conversation lasted about five seconds, but my life had fundamentally changed.

Now, looking back almost five decades later, I understand that night differently than I did at the time. For years I described that experience as a “re-dedication.” But after a lot more Bible study and life experience, I now believe that bedside prayer was actually my conversion. It was the beginning of God opening my eyes to the gospel and drawing me to Himself.

And honestly, that matters because everything else in this series flows out of that first call.

Before vocation-leadership- coaching- failures- teaching- stumbles- marriage- kids…

There was Christ calling me to Himself. That is the primary call.

And unlike jobs, roles, seasons, or assignments, that call does not change.

There have been plenty of ups and downs over these last 47 years. There have been seasons where I drifted, seasons where I misunderstood things, periods of immaturity, pride, poor decisions, and failures that still embarrass me when I think about them.

But the faithfulness of God has remained steady through all of it.

That is probably another thing you understand better backward than forward.

And maybe that is one reason Genesis 3 still resonates so deeply with me all these years later.

God still calls people hiding in shame, fear, confusion, pride, exhaustion, and brokenness.

“Where are you?”

How we answer that question really does make all the difference.

The Bible asks simple but profound questions- another one like it He kept asking Elijah… “Why are you here?”

Song Links:

By Grace Alone (Where Are You?)

Low Whisper (What Are You Here?)

“The Call” and “a” Call- Day 6 June R&R

As I touched on yesterday, one of the more helpful distinctions Os Guinness makes in The Call is the difference between what he describes as “THE CALL” and “a call.” I probably did not appreciate that distinction enough when I first read the book years ago, but life has a way of making certain truths much clearer over time.

I think Christians sometimes overcomplicate the idea of calling.

Jesus’ invitations were actually pretty direct and understandable. “Follow me.” “Repent.” “Take up your cross.” “Love one another.” Before Christians are called to a particular profession, ministry, or assignment, they are first called to Christ Himself. Guinness says it well when he writes that our primary calling is “by Him, to Him, and for Him.”

That Primary call (THE CALL) does not really change-

But “a” call often does.

The assignments change. Roles change. Seasons change. Sometimes doors open and sometimes they close very abruptly, even when we believed we were exactly where God wanted us to be.

I learned that lesson pretty painfully in 2010.

After seven years of ministry work in Nashville, the door suddenly closed. Looking back, I can honestly say I was not in a healthy place emotionally when all of that happened. I was hurt, angry, embarrassed, disappointed, and honestly pretty scared about the future. Losing a position or ministry role has a way of exposing how much identity you may have quietly attached to it.

When you put your your heart and soul into something- it is more like a painful divorce than just a job loss.

Thankfully, a friend of mine helped negotiate a severance package that gave us something incredibly valuable at the time: breathing room. Instead of immediately scrambling into the next opportunity, I had a few months to slow down and think clearly again.

That season ended up becoming much more important than I realized at the time.

For about three months, I settled into a rhythm that was probably as emotionally and spiritually healthy as anything I could have done. I would wake up early, spend a long time reading Scripture and praying, and then go on long runs through Nashville trying to process the frustration and anger that was still sitting pretty close to the surface. I ended up running the Music City Marathon that year, which probably tells you how much running I was doing.

After that I would spend part of the day exploring job opportunities and trying to figure out what came next.

What became very obvious during that season was how difficult it is to make wise decisions when your emotions are running the show. Hurt and ambition can cloud discernment pretty quickly. Fear can too. Pride certainly can.

And honestly, when many of us say we are “praying about a decision,” what we often mean is that we are slowly moving toward what we already want to do while hoping God agrees with us.

I know I have done that more than once.

At the time, I had several opportunities in front of me, including two head football coaching positions. If I am being honest, those opportunities appealed to parts of me that wanted affirmation, significance, and maybe even redemption after the way things had ended in Nashville.

But somewhere during that season I started putting together what I eventually called “The Decision Grid.” It was not anything sophisticated. It was really just an attempt to think more carefully and prayerfully about decisions instead of reacting emotionally.

My wife and I began asking questions that had less to do with titles and more to do with stewardship.

Would this be healthy for our family?

Would this strengthen or strain our marriage?

Would I be building something meaningful or simply rebuilding my ego?

Would this move help me serve people well?

Was I choosing something because it genuinely seemed wise, or because I wanted to prove something?

As we prayed through those questions, I slowly realized that returning to Briarwood was probably the better decision for our family, even though I knew it likely meant I would never again be a head football coach.

At the time, that was difficult to accept. Looking back now, I am deeply thankful for it.

I think one of the mistakes people make with calling is assuming that God’s will always leads toward bigger titles, greater visibility, or more impressive opportunities. Sometimes God’s assignments move in quieter directions than we expected.

Sometimes He redirects us toward faithfulness instead of recognition. Sometimes He strips away roles we had quietly started depending on for identity.

But through all of those changes, “THE CALL” remains steady even when “a” call changes.

Follow Christ. Love people. Walk faithfully. Serve where God has placed you.

The assignments may change over time, but the Shepherd does not.

And honestly, there is a lot of peace in that.

I wanted to share with you this "Decision Grid"- see below.

So looking backwards..... I have had many unplanned changes and events- the secondary calling changed- and moving forward, it helps to trust Him more.

I will write on this in more detail later.....

Song Link: Looking Backward

Coach Jay Mathews’ Decision Grid- A Biblical Framework for Discernment and Calling

1. Start With God’s General Will

Before major decisions, search Scripture for God’s revealed will and boundaries. A foundational passage is 1 Thessalonians 4:1–3

[1] Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. [2] For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. [3] For this is the will of God, your sanctification.....

(11] and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, [12] so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. (ESV)

God’s Word Is My Authority

My motive is to please God by:

• Prayer

• Reading Scripture

• Fellowship — especially with my wife

• Discipline that honors God

• Loving others — especially my wife and children

• Worship

2. The Life I Should Aspire To

1 Thessalonians describes:

• A Quiet Life — not driven by noise, image, or comparison

• Self-Evaluation — examining myself instead of others

• Work & Stewardship — working diligently and using my gifts faithfully

• Responsibility — providing for my family and avoiding dependence on others

3. Questions for Major Decisions

Kingdom

• Is it loving?

• Can I proclaim the Gospel?

• Does it promote God or me?

• Will it help build God’s Kingdom?

Character

• Will I be a giver or taker?

• Does it challenge me?

• Will our family grow spiritually?

Responsibility

• Is it responsible?

• Does it provide for my family?

• Will it create dependence on others?

Counsel

• What does my wife think?

4. Reminders About God’s Guidance

God Guides — But He Expects Wisdom

“I will instruct you and teach you…” — Psalm 32:8
“Do not be like the horse or mule…” — Psalm 32:9

God expects me to:

• Use common sense

• Think clearly

• Walk wisely

• Stay sensitive to His voice

If we remain quiet before Him, the Shepherd’s voice pierces the darkness.

5. The Danger of Self-Deception

This is easy to say and hard to live because we naturally drift toward what we want.

Often “I’m praying about it” becomes- “The Slow No”

Common Tendencies

1. We choose what we already want and use prayer to justify it.

2. Peer approval matters more than God’s approval.

3. We choose pride, power, and status over humility and service.

4. We collect supporting evidence while ignoring opposing wisdom.

6. Warnings About Calling and Ambition

“Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ… The aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him.”

“To make a career choice on selfish grounds is probably the greatest single sin any young person can commit…”

“The call of Jesus is personal but not purely individual…”

7. The Danger of Comfort and Drift

“My mental fatigue is now greater than the bodily. It is so pleasant to sit doing nothing—and therefore so dangerous. Death through exhaustion is like death through freezing—a pleasant one.”  Reinhold Messner, Everest—The First Solo Ascent (1989) quoted in Krakauer’s Into Thin Air

Fatigue dulls:

• conviction

• attention

• memory

• discipline

• purpose

Spiritual drift rarely feels dangerous in the moment.

8. Faithfulness in the Ordinary

Oswald Chambers wrote:

“We do not need the grace of God to stand crises… but it does require the grace of God to live every day as a saint.”

“We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things.”

The Christian life is not mainly dramatic moments, but:

• holiness in ordinary places

• faithfulness in unnoticed moments

• obedience in everyday life

The call is not merely to do exceptional things for God, but to be faithful to Him in all things.

Final Anchor

Be peaceful.
I am His child.
He will be with me — no matter what.