The Waiting Game

This will be a quick and general update on where I am and what is happening. Sorry, no details yet.

On Dec 9, God allowed one of those  'knock you to the ground kicks to your teeth' that  left me in the dust. One day I will try to detail what I think happened- it is too soon to unravel now- and would require a lot of speculation at this point.

The bottom line is this- I woke up that Thursday morning with full confidence about where I will live, where I will work, and was routinely doing my daily tasks of getting better, teaching, and planning for the future. I went to bed on Thursday night not knowing anything about the next day, week, month, or year.

When life slaps you to the ground like that- there are a number of complex things going on- deep things. And it is not just about you- this effects an entire family and group of people- it impacts close friends- it creates a stir in the community.

My visual was of a big, red dragon that had just landed what he thought was a death blow and I was laying in the dust of debris- and he was bowed up and hovering over me, sneering, and challenging me - "What you going to do now? What you going to do now?"

The pain is real- the shame hangs like a banner- and the weariness and emptiness of life is so thick you taste it. The nights are lonely, even the sweetest wife a man has ever known eventually falls asleep- and all you have is the darkness there to accuse. I cried out for sleep and I yearned for mornings- but each tick of the clock was spent in despair.

Now the cool part- God shows up. He shows up in a real way. He shows up in a sincere way. But He does it His way. He is not there to rescue me from the immediate pain- He wants me to hurt for a little bit, He doesn't desert me, but He is no quick fixer on purpose.

The medicine is there - the comfort is there- the Spirit is there. But the purpose of the medicine is to allow the pain to go deep and settle for a bit. It has now been 39 days- and I am doing so much better- but the pain is still present- I just know how to live with it- I don't have to hide from it- and I no longer fear the nights- and I no longer fear the dreams- and I have very little fear of the future.

What helps? God does- but here are some of the details.

First, my family rushed to my side and hugged me and loved me and we embraced God's plan with confidence and courage. Part of the fruit of walking with Christ is that He gives us others. In my case it was my amazing wife and children. It was also genuine friends- God's on-earth ministers.

Second, was God's Word- I can't say enough of what a Spirit-breathed Word of comfort does to a wounded soul. God's Word has the right amount of anger, cries, pain, and promises for His people to successfully navigate these waters.

Third, the testimony of God's people. It wasn't long before I began to hear the stories. It seems like that between the ages of 30-50 God allows men especially to be kicked down by life- it may be cancer, divorce, bankruptcy, addiction, problem with children, joblessness- and the purposes of this is manifold. I heard great stories of how men would say' the best thing that ever happened to me' and I saw the sincerity in their eyes and heard the echo of pain in their voice. These were not men saying cliche's - these were men who saw my cracked heart and remembered. It wasn't "I told you so" it was "I know". And it all helped me.

I made a list of these men who rushed to me and supported me in words and deed. I will pray God's blessings for them for the rest of my life. I want to do the same for others in the future.

So, slowly, day by day- I got up. I exercised. I read the Word. I prayed. I listened to praise songs and good Christian music. I sent out my resume. I made phone calls. And Jesus never left me.

Going back to worship was also important, though we needed a new venue for a myriad of reasons. God allowed Brentwood Baptist to be there. The sermons were God directed and Spirit enforced. The ministry of the Word and music were fresh breeze in tattered sails.

Now the summary of all of this: through the music, sermons, Bible study, prayer, testimonies, I heard a clear and strong message from God....WAIT.

It was hammered home again today:

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 28-31

Ray Ortlund comments on this: "To wait for the Lord means to live in confident, eager suspense. It means to live with the tension of promises revealed but not yet fulfilled. This waiting is not killing time. It isn't sitting around, drumming your fingers. It is waiting on tip-toe, waiting with eager longing. It is forgetting what lies behind, straining forward to what lies ahead, and pressing on toward the goal (Philippians 3:13,14). It isn't erratic bursts of hyperactivity within a general pattern of boredom. It is steady, rugged progress, sustained by the conviction that the display of God's glory in Christ is yours."

So this is where I am. Learning how to sit still and wait yet remain in motion. A good friend gave me another visual... I am a running back and I have just received the hand-off- I am in slow motion and the line is blocking in front of me. I have to wait for the hole to open- but I have to be ready to hit that hole with all the explosion that I can muster.

My next post (in a few days?) will be about the decision grid I will be using to choose from the options I have before me. I am very grateful to have options.

When my enemy was hovering over me, baiting me, laughing at me, and accusing me "What are you going to do now?" I slowly stood up and replied, "I will trust my King. He is my Father and He loves me." And that dragon cursed and shrunk back in the darkness waiting on his next strike.

And so I wait.......God is good......

At War- Standing Firm

I Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

 Remember that great scene in Lord of the Rings where Gandalf stands on the bridge and faces the Balroc?
 With a fierce energy and passionate voice he stands firm and shouts, "You cannot pass. I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass."


There is a part of spiritual warfare that we often miss and that is the art of 'standing firm'. Holding to- clinging to- not wavering. It is holding against the storm, resolute and unwavering.

We see this in Scripture- Jacob clinging to the Lord, "I will not let you go until you bless me". Jesus setting His face toward the cross for the joy set before Him, Paul finishing the course, Shaddrach, Meshach, and Adendego saying the Lord will deliver us, but even if He doesn't, we will not bow before you O King.". It is a mindset that says, "Though the whole world leave and forsake the Lord, I will yet stand."

Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

I think there a couple of application points to this:

Perseverance- we have to get tougher and learn to dig in and stand firm when momentum swings against us.We tend to relent way too early in the game. Think of a goal line defense. We teach the defensive linemen to get low and hunker down. Go low and grab grass and push with all you have. Is there anything more exciting than a defense holding on a 4th and 1? Pushed back all the way down the field, but holding the other team out creates great energy and momentum. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

How many more marriages would survive with this mindset?- 'I'm going to endure a little longer and see if the tide may turn- Lord, help me.'

In the Book of Revelation- 5 of the 7 churches are not getting good marks from Jesus. He says to them, 'repent'. These churches have become loveless, distracted, materialistic, and full of false teachers and immorality. Yet, nowhere in the 7 letters does the Lord say to the unbelievers.. "Leave and go find a better church."

No- He indicates to stay, repent, and strengthen the things that remain.

This is my final post of the series 'AT WAR'- but I will tell you that I have never seen Satan more visible in His assault on the faith. I have the largest prayer list in 25+ years of keeping such lists.

Financial hardships, job loss, cancer, disease, divorce, false rumors and gossip, immorality, drunkenness or substance abuse, pain, regret, quarreling, apathy, laziness, selfishness. At times, it almost feels like Satan has been set loose as found in Rev. 20:7. We have brothers and sisters in real pain and dire circumstances. We need to pray and love and serve.

But the message never changes..... STAND FIRM.
Tell the Devil.... YOU SHALL NOT PASS

And the result of that kind of faith and that kind of fight? "Your labor in the Lord is NOT IN VAIN."

And what about when we fail and fall? There is good news in the gospel. It matters not if you try and fail and try and fail again- what matters is if you try and fail... and fail to try again.

May God's grace and peace keep us steady in the storm! It's a glorious day to battle in the joy of the Lord!

At War- A Different View of Spiritual Warfare

I have been taking the month of March to write a little about spiritual warfare. If you look back, everything up to now has been fairly consistent with the idea of an armor clad believer, sword drawn, with the three enemies on the attack. There are ample verses to support this view.

But the Bible also switches metaphors about these types of things. I believe it is for us to keep a balanced perspective on the dynamics of our life and our purpose. An example of this is 2 Timothy 2 where Paul uses military examples, athletic examples, and agricultural examples to bring out this point of discipleship and passing the gospel on to others.

It is this third metaphor that I want to focus on this morning- the farmer. We have so little knowledge of this in our culture today, yet the Bible is rich with all of these analogies. Wheat, tares-vines, vine dresser, seeds sown, sower and the soils, and the last part of I Corinthians 15 and on and on.

So I want to spend a little time getting us to think of winning in the area of spiritual warfare as progress and GROWTH. Seeds shooting roots, roots digging in, shoots pushing through, and growing strong despite the storms of life and multiplying fruit over many seasons of life.

There is a multiple metaphor in the Old Testament about being a tree planted by the water. An example of this is the great dichotomy found in Psalm 1

  

1:1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2  but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

4  The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Think of the strength and use of such a tree. Consider how much a beautiful tree glorifies God. Joyce Kilmer rightly proclaimed, "Only God can make a tree."

Can we trust God, with great patience, to grow us up into towering Oaks of Righteousness? We are so vulnerable in the early stages, young and tough, and then very hard to kill. Even if we are left a stump- we will yet yield shoots and fruit.

This type of tree takes great nourishment. This type of tree takes a long time. These trees are twisted, bent, even have some knots and notches- but they raise their arms in God's glory. I will comment later on the warfare of 'standing firm' and what that means to our lives in Christ.

At War- Casualties and Courage

I'm using the month of March to write about spiritual warfare.

Because we are in a war, there are real casualties. There is real pain. War involves sacrifice and there is both a fog of war and a battle hum that often creates doubt to winning or losing.

If you read I and II Timothy along with Philippians sometime, you get a picture of Paul, after years of faithful fighting- recounting the casualties.

I Timothy 1:3- certain men  teaching false doctrine, involved in controversy
1:5 they wander from love, pure heart, and good conscience
1:19 some have shipwrecked their faith
1:20 Hymenaeus and Alexander handed over to Satan
II Timothy 1:15 'everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me' including Phygelus and Hermongenes
2:17 Hymenaeus and Philetus wander away- godless chatter spreads like gangrene
3:10- Paul's persecutions
4:10 Demas deserted Paul because he loved the world
4:14 Alexander the metalworker did Paul great harm

And yet- he never despairs.. Paul continues to be filled with hope and joy.

Re-read Philippians and remember, this is Paul IN CHAINS
vs 3 I Thank God
vs 4 I pray with joy
vs 6- confident of victory
vs 12 what has happened to me has advanced the gospel
He says over and over I rejoice......
He says 'cheered', 'confident', 'eager'
Read chapter 3- wow - One thing I do- forget the past and strain toward what is ahead...I PRESS ON
Read chapter 4- rejoice- rejoice- rejoice- do not be anxious- pray with thanksgiving- peace will guard your heart and your mind- rejoice- I can do all things through Christ- I am amply supplied- your gifts are a fragrant aroma......

We gathered our small group last night and shared the battle... there is pain and worry and persecution. We prayed. I looked over my list this morning... it is long. I have never had a time in my life where there are so many spiritual and material needs. We have some real pleas for breakthrough.

But God is good. He is always faithful and he is the King and Victor! Let's keep pressing on!
The harder the struggle, the more glorious the victory.

At War- Triads, Tactics, and Schemes

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. Eph 6:10

Scripture says we have three enemies: the world's system, our flesh, and the devil. In Revelation we see an unholy trinity of the Dragon, the Beast, and the False Prophet.

The world is against believers in that the system in place works against the righteous. It is a system built on fortune, fame, power, and pleasure. In Revelation we are asked to come out of Babylon, that is the corrupt city of man- filled with injustice, a city red with the blood of tooth and claw, and a land that lures the unsuspecting to their slavery and doom.

We are in the world, but not of it. An interesting concept. The obvious ways to miss this is to be in and of the world.... or to be totally out of the world, so removed that we do no good as salt and light. In this culture, you will feel like you are always swimming upstream if you profess allegiance to the Kingdom of Christ.

G.K. Beale is quoted as saying: "It has been said that worldliness is what any culture does to make sin seem normal and righteousness seem strange"

ROMANS 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers,by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

We also have a problem with our flesh. The Apostle Paul struggled with this in Romans 7 when he writes that he cannot do what he wants, but does the very thing he hates. He finds that sin is in him, the one wishing to do good. Our battle versus the flesh is another life long battle, a part of the sanctifying process where we are to starve the old nature and feed the new. We are saved by grace, and we are sustained by grace, but we need to strive by all the means that God has appointed to grow in grace. We have power in the Spirit to succeed- and it is a noble task because God's ways are good and prosperous choices.

Think about how good we feel when we are eating right and exercising- well spiritual disciplines work the same way. We are urged to train in godliness.

ROMANS 8:5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.

GALATIANS 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

I TIMOTHY 4:7-8 Rather train yourself for godliness; 8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

Our final enemy is Satan himself and the 1/3 of the angelic host who now serve him as demons. Yes, He is real and present and active.

It is his whisper campaign that begins the process:

"Indeed... did God say?....."

I have found that Satan's greatest attack in in my mind. He wants me to doubt and fear, he wants me to hide in the shadows of secrets and shame. The word 'occult' means 'hidden'. Satan is a stealth stalker, a master of disguise, a sinister killer. He is the greatest one on one killer of all time- his only defeat was against our Lord in the wilderness. And Christ won it by wielding the Sword of God's Word. Are we prepared for such an encounter?

He loves to divide and conquer. Unity, love, prayer, honesty, and encouragement creates problems for his tactics. He wants us to be divided and suspicious. He wants us to be posers. He is relentless.

Does this battle make you weary? Are we extra tired because we don't know how to take a Sabbath rest? Are we discouraged because we are isolated? Are we being held back by habitual sin? Are we powerless because we are prayerless?

I don't want to stop here.... because hope and good news awaits. My next writing will be on the joy of fighting as a son of the most high.... our greatest identity! Press on!

At War- Wicked Weapons and Valient Victory

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.      2 Corinthians 10

I wanted to spend the month of March writing a little about the Christian at war. We wage a daily battle versus the world, the flesh, and the devil. The older I get, the more aware I seem to grow at the intensity of the battle and the devious and devastating attack of the enemy.

I sometimes avoid this topic because we tend to get a little squirrely  when it come to spiritual warfare- but in the last 6 years I have felt and experienced the attack in intense and very tangible experiences.

I also think that we tend to get a little too self focused in this subject. I sometimes adopt a 'woe is me when the wicked weapons take flight in my direction'.

Contrast this to Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount when He basically says, "Congratulations when you a persecuted for righteousness sake."

I want to start with good news: if you are being attacked, it is a sign that you are effective and dangerous. When George Whitfield visited the early days of Princeton, he made an interesting prediction in 1739:

“The devil will certainly rage against them; but the work is of God and will not come to nought”

A quick story: I used to teach literature at a Christian school in Birmingham. We had a teacher leave mid-semester and I was asked to teach his Bible class to finish the year. It was an interesting scenario because I had the same students for literature and then a few periods later for Bible. The difference in the two classes was amazing. There is something about teaching Bible that brought out attacks and attitude. It made me realize that if you plan to be a Bible teacher, you better have prayer support and take it very, very seriously.

Fortunately, that prepared me for my last six years as a Bible teacher- but I will tell you that it is still a battle in many ways. I have had to get much better at making every minute count and providing very little idle time.

I have some good friends who have taught or are teaching Bible and I will tell you that they all have stories that describe struggles in confidence, pain in marriage, accusations and lies, and the whisper of the enemy..... 'you're just a fraud' or 'you just need to give up'.

Another point is that we need to be aware of the tactics of the battle when it comes to the insurgency versus institutions. Part of the attack is to corrupt and deceive. This is done in so many complex and insidious ways.

The attack on concepts: think how our enemy has taken on important things like "marriage"- "fatherhood"- "Bible"- "Jesus"- think how good things have been corrupted and even how humor is more of a mocking of good things.

The attack on leaders: Satan's whisper campaigns flow as an undercurrent to erode confidence in the motives and integrity of godly men and women. We tend to pass along negative rumor and innuendo, usually without any factual support.

The attack on knowledge.. especially reading: This one really frightens me. As our reading scores fall in our culture, we lose the ability to read and use the Word- our only offensive weapon. Remember that Jesus responded to Satan with Scripture, but very few Christians today can handle Scripture in ways to respond to his deceptive questions and half truths.

As you read the verse at the top of the page- remember that we are fighting on the winning team- we are guided and protected by the winning captain. So we should walk in confidence and victory. Wage the war well!

I hope to write more later in the month.