I guess you can tell that I write out stuff. Why? It has always just come out of me this way. It started my freshman year in college when I began to keep a journal- and I found it healthy in two ways: 1) It is good to articulate/record what I am thinking and feeling and it is a great resource to look back from time to time and see where God has taken me- memories- good times and bad.
In 2004, I began to do it online- and I always wanted to be honest and real with it. Why would I do this? Isn't it highly self serving and narcissistic? I think there are some who see facebook posting and blogging as symptoms of the the most self-absorbed generation in the history of man. Is this just a big altar to SELF?
I have always wrestled with this and prayed about it- I think I hold it with an open hand to God. It is so interesting to look back and see even where already some of my views have changed. I see typos and stupid posts. But I will leave it as it is- look inside and see a man- foolish and prideful- but sharing my heart- without fear because I am dead anyway- My life is hidden in Christ. I don't fully understand that but I accept it as my only hope.
I recently re-watched Gone With The Wind- (I thought of my mom- she was so happy when they showed it on TV one year many moons ago- and we watched it over a two night period.)
So I watched it again- and like all classics- they grow with age. The older you get, and the more life happens- you see all the innuendo and political punches- and you appreciate it. Vivian Lee with all of her little facial cues gives my favorite acting job of all time. The irony is that Scarlett is usually pretending- so this in some way must have been one of the most demanding parts of all time.
What does 'Gone With the Wind' have to do with what I am walking through?
God is a master director- all people, believers and unbelievers, are living out a real life and telling a real story. In the end, the director will show up and the drama will be finished, and it will be a grand story to His honor and renown.
In every life, God ordains dark days- and these are complex things. Sometimes it is of our own making, sometimes it is suffering for righteousness sake, and sometimes it is just 'rain falling on the just and the unjust' - as 'Calvin would say the luck of life' (stole that one from a friend).
When it happens- it is impossible to know all of the reasons why. And my guess is that we are NOT supposed to know all of the mystery.
So without any details or reasons- I do want to talk about what to do when this happens and what God does for His children when it happens.
The summary is this: When God allows your whole world to crumble- it is at that moment when you have a chance to discover Him as the most Beautiful Person in the entire universe and find a deep joy in the pain that allows you to treasure true value in this crazy life.
Now, we have 'mini-letdowns' all the time- little thorns that are designed to turn unbelievers to God and believers to focus on heaven and love the world less.
But what I recently experienced was a biggie. One that cuts too deep for words and shakes you down to the core. It is one of those things that make nights seem long and lonely. The visual is George Bailey on Christmas Eve- all alone- trembling, sweating, crying and wondering if there is any meaning or hope to life. When your inside pain makes your eyes feel too deep to see and your prayers seem in vain.
All of this seems so dramatic- and we all tend to over-dramatize personal pain. It even makes us angry that the rest of the world goes on.
But I want to give a personal testimony to anyone who God allows to read this with an open heart. I would have NEVER chosen what has happened to me- I wish it on no man- I will not accept that it happened for sound reasons- but I am resigned to accept it as God's plan. (One day I am going to flesh out how 'God's Will' gets us in trouble- but I'm still searching Him out right now).
But let me write about what I did and what God did for me and why I sing songs of praise to Him in the midst of the carnage.
For a short time- He creates a distance. Usually during the long, dark nights. It has not been unusual for me to pass out dead tired at 10PM and wake up at 2:30 or 3:00 AM- my heart is beating defeat in my inner ear. And I lay there for hours replaying words and deeds- and all I can pray is "Help, I am hurting" and I say it over and over. (The Raven comes to mind as I write this).
Now the good stuff- every morning as the Sun came up- He met me in such a real way. And here is how it works- Read the Scriptures and pray- for some reason the OT really painted my heart with soothing medicine. The Psalms of Ascent (120-134)- The Book of Isaiah, and Ezekiel were the most helpful to me. I also encourage you to play Christian music during this time. I would put my ipod in my ear and run and run and run- Praise music just flooded my heart with grace and promises.
My family- wow- what a treasure! There is nothing like having your wife and children hug you and pray over you. My friends- thank-you. There were those here and far away who reached out as God's ministers. I heard beyond their words and felt their love- and my loyalty to them was cemented forever!
There are also some tangible things God did for me- right away- that were clear signals that He was in the midst of my pain.
I don't know if this is appropriate for every situation- but God's clearest message to me in this time has been "WAIT"- in other words be careful and not hasty. Speak less and pray more. Don't think about what I am going to do- instead seek Him and search Him out.
I am going to list one other tool- if you ever find your life has been pushed down to the dust in defeat- here is something that has helped me.
I am a theological junkie- read it all the time. I am one of those 'weird doctrine dudes' who actually study Bible commentaries. I am just being honest here when I write that- in my amateur and limited opinion- the greatest commentary ever written- the most readable- the most relevant- the most useful for the layman- the one that offers pure medicine for a crushed heart- is one on Isaiah: God Saves Sinners- Edited by Kent Hughes, and written by Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr.
If you want to find God is a deeper and richer way- after He allows the beautiful letdown- read Isaiah and read this commentary and you will fall on your knees everyday and cry out worship to God. Christ is that good. He is all I ever need and I'm sure I will have to re-learn the lesson over and over again until He appears. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
I have attached it as a link- you ought to buy it and try it. I will finish this blog out with some quotes from this book.
"Self salvation makes a lot of sense, until you try it. No one anywhere, even under ideal conditions, has ever figured out how to live well without God... even if you are (on a beautiful beach or resort) you will still need God. And being there without God would be hell. And being here, or anywhere with God can be heaven."
"Never outgrow the humility of brokenness before God. In becoming a Christian, you admit that your whole life has been wrong. As you grow in Christ, never leave that realism behind. Your failure is God's opportunity. Your sin is God's moment."
"The crisis of life is over. We find rest, not because we can cope with our attackers but because we are at peace with God."
"And that startling sense of our acceptance in Christ is how we become the trusting people we should be, the broken people we should be, and the renewed people we should be. That's when nothing can hold us back from the newness of life, not even our own second-rate repentance."
Whether this post has been narcissistic or witness- whether it is psychological manipulation or Holy Spirit confirmation- I will never stop proclaiming the incredible news... God saves sinners like me and it is never too late to cry out a simple prayer..."HELP!"
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Blog Everyone Was Asking About- Final Thoughts
Some final thoughts:
Just like any addiction- this will be a lifelong struggle for me. My wife and children have been great to watch out for me and keep track- sure it gets bothersome at times- but I know they are doing it for my good.
One thing I have done is to continue weighing and I set a 'red flag' weight for myself. As long as I stay under 200 lbs I am NOT on a diet. I live, eat, and exercise regularly. But if I hit 205- I must go back on a diet until I get below. I would like to stay between 185 and 195.
Here are my new goals below:
I listed some of my stat keeping below:
Just like any addiction- this will be a lifelong struggle for me. My wife and children have been great to watch out for me and keep track- sure it gets bothersome at times- but I know they are doing it for my good.
One thing I have done is to continue weighing and I set a 'red flag' weight for myself. As long as I stay under 200 lbs I am NOT on a diet. I live, eat, and exercise regularly. But if I hit 205- I must go back on a diet until I get below. I would like to stay between 185 and 195.
Here are my new goals below:
New Eating Habits:
200 lbs is red flag- URGENT!
I want to split entrées at restaurants and leave food on my plate
No sugar in my drinks
As long as I am above 200- NO SWEETS
If I exercise- I get to eat a little more
If I don’t exercise- I have to eat less
I wanted to mention 2 foods that help me:
1 is almonds- they are low carb and a filling snack
2- is 'Carbmaster Yogurt' which I have only found at Kroger. Cheap and tastes good. 80 cals 4 carbs
Fall 2010- I was grateful to my wife, Lisa, who got up with me at 5:00 AM four days a week and ran with me during football season. I stayed below 200 all during the season, but I still didn't eat great.
2011 I want to hit it hard again in April and see if I can hit a new low or not. It takes warmer weather to assist the body in burning calories in my opinion.
I listed some of my stat keeping below:
| Date | Weight | Fat % | Fat Mass | Water | BMI |
| 4/15/10 | 246.6 lbs | 32.60% | 80.4 lbs. | 121.6 lbs. | 34.9 |
| 4/22/10 | 237.0 lbs. | 30.90% | 73.2 lbs. | 120.0 lbs. | 33.5 |
| 4/29/10 | 231.4 lbs. | 31.60% | 73.2 lbs. | 115.8 lbs. | 32.7 |
| 5/6/10 | 228.2 lbs. | 31.00% | 70.8 lbs. | 115.2 lbs. | 32.3 |
| 5/20/10 | 220.8 lbs. | 28.20% | 62.2 lbs. | 116.0 lbs. | 31.2 |
| 5/26/10 | 217.6 lbs. | 27.60% | 60.0 lbs. | 115.4 lbs. | 30.8 |
| 6/2/10 | 214.4 lbs. | 26.70% | 57.2 lbs. | 115.0 lbs. | 30.3 |
| 6/11/10 | 213.4 lbs. | 27.80% | 59.4 lbs. | 112.8 lbs. | 30.2 |
| 6/24/10 | 208.6 lbs. | 26.30% | 54.8 lbs. | 112.6 lbs. | 29.5 |
| 7/1/10 | 206.6 lbs. | 26.40% | 54.6 lbs. | 111.2 lbs. | 29.2 |
| 7/8/10 | 205.8 lbs. | 25.80% | 53.0 lbs. | 111.8 lbs. | 29.1 |
*source Medi-Weightloss
My lowest weight in 2010 was 194.9 on Aug 18th on Wi Fit
Documenting June 2010
Start 216.9 – Finish 207.7 (9.2 lbs)
Ate Approx- 32,500 calories (1050 carbs)
BMR- 55,000 kcal
Exercise- 14,800 kcal (total 69,800)
<37,300 deficit> (3500 cal in lb) =10.6 lbs
Notes:
Exercised 24 out of 30 days – 130 miles running/biking/walking/lifting
Like always please consult your Dr before going to any extreme eating or exercise changes. Go slow- learn to be patient- and Keep me updated on how you do!
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Using Logic to Prove God
There is an argument out there which seems to suggest that the existence, recognition, and use of the laws of logic point to the existence of God.
The use of logic and the declaration of something as 'logical' or 'illogical' points to a pre-existent, unchanging, and prescriptive tool of evaluation and communication.
The laws of identity, non-contradiction, and the excluded middle- though sometimes misused with fallacy and faulty presumptions- point to a transcendent standard and come close to touching the mind and attributes of God.
In other words, if you use logic to argue against God, you are actually proving His existence because where would the universal standards of logic come from that you are using?
We use logic all the time, understand it, and point out when it is sub-standard in our rationalization.
We use it without ever considering what its origin might be.
It is harder to explain the existence of logic without the existence of God. Start with the materialist view of the universe- just matter- no personality- no plan- only time and chance in the future.
Were we just that lucky to have law, and language, and logic, and love come to be?
Was there this strange bug like a spider that accidentally a silk thread came out of his butt and he thought "Hey I can use this to catch bugs?" I just need to know how to build it- and after 1 million years he perfected the web?
Are you really that smart or are you really that presumptuous? I know, I know - you think I am the foolish one to believe in the loving, sovereign Creator. You hate my God- but I don't follow that God. I don't believe in the same God you don't believe in. But would you be open to finding the ONE who is there? He wants to show Himself to you......
A final thought- they teach in math a concept called 'imaginary numbers' - (take the square root of a non positive number) it is labeled with an i- usually it is combined with a bi (b is a real number and i is imaginary). So you say that God is imaginary- what if it is like an imaginary number- it has to be there to fill out the equation. In the variable above b is the man? and i is the mind of God?
I will stop there- the hard hearted will call me a fool and point out my sin and inconsistencies. I am a fool- but my King is a beautiful being- I wish you would walk with Him for a little while.
You can reach out to Him today and say, humbly- "I want to acknowledge you as Lord today- would You show Yourself to me?" and then (I know this sounds silly) open the Scriptures (The Bible) and say "I think this is a silly book of human propaganda and myth, but I do humbly ask that You show Yourself to me- overcome my intellectual pride, rebellion, and skepticism- help me get over the hurts that men have caused- help me see beyond the churches failures- help me to see truth"- and then quietly wait as you read.
My prayer for you:
Father- You have shown Yourself to me in a powerful way- please do so for the one who would do this today" AMEN There is NO SIN that Christ cannot forgive you of-if you will acknowledge Him.
The use of logic and the declaration of something as 'logical' or 'illogical' points to a pre-existent, unchanging, and prescriptive tool of evaluation and communication.
The laws of identity, non-contradiction, and the excluded middle- though sometimes misused with fallacy and faulty presumptions- point to a transcendent standard and come close to touching the mind and attributes of God.
In other words, if you use logic to argue against God, you are actually proving His existence because where would the universal standards of logic come from that you are using?
We use logic all the time, understand it, and point out when it is sub-standard in our rationalization.
We use it without ever considering what its origin might be.
It is harder to explain the existence of logic without the existence of God. Start with the materialist view of the universe- just matter- no personality- no plan- only time and chance in the future.
Were we just that lucky to have law, and language, and logic, and love come to be?
Was there this strange bug like a spider that accidentally a silk thread came out of his butt and he thought "Hey I can use this to catch bugs?" I just need to know how to build it- and after 1 million years he perfected the web?
Are you really that smart or are you really that presumptuous? I know, I know - you think I am the foolish one to believe in the loving, sovereign Creator. You hate my God- but I don't follow that God. I don't believe in the same God you don't believe in. But would you be open to finding the ONE who is there? He wants to show Himself to you......
A final thought- they teach in math a concept called 'imaginary numbers' - (take the square root of a non positive number) it is labeled with an i- usually it is combined with a bi (b is a real number and i is imaginary). So you say that God is imaginary- what if it is like an imaginary number- it has to be there to fill out the equation. In the variable above b is the man? and i is the mind of God?
I will stop there- the hard hearted will call me a fool and point out my sin and inconsistencies. I am a fool- but my King is a beautiful being- I wish you would walk with Him for a little while.
You can reach out to Him today and say, humbly- "I want to acknowledge you as Lord today- would You show Yourself to me?" and then (I know this sounds silly) open the Scriptures (The Bible) and say "I think this is a silly book of human propaganda and myth, but I do humbly ask that You show Yourself to me- overcome my intellectual pride, rebellion, and skepticism- help me get over the hurts that men have caused- help me see beyond the churches failures- help me to see truth"- and then quietly wait as you read.
My prayer for you:
Father- You have shown Yourself to me in a powerful way- please do so for the one who would do this today" AMEN There is NO SIN that Christ cannot forgive you of-if you will acknowledge Him.
The Blog Everyone Has Been Asking For - the Diet (pt 3)
update- March 2021
this post is frequented a lot- here is an update- I moved back to Bham and over an 8 year period gained back all of the weight and more (Covid shutdown didn't help)- However, good news, I have lost 20 lbs since Dec 18 2020- slowly, and feel really good.
The low carb, austere diet works but is difficult to live with. Also, the body adjusts- I do credit great information from Noom- so I think I am doing it by a better way... but everything below is still the record in 2010- though I can't endorse everything below:
Please see parts one and 2 as background info. In 2010 I lost more than 50 lbs and wanted to document what I did- this is an inside out change that must take place, over time.
FINALLY-…THE DIET…. THE PLAN…. THE PROCESS
(Ok- First let me say that Medi-Weightloss is the best choice here. It is expensive, and I was blessed by a benefactor on this- but I will give you how I would do it without the Medi personnel. But the Jan/Feb plan was my plan alone and medi came in April 16.)
JANUARY- Great time to think about a change. But you can do this at ANY time. Today is a good day.
For 1 month- do not think about doing a diet. Think about a paced and consistent exercise plan. This is a long process- get an improved state of fitness first.
DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF- YOUR FIRST WEIGH IN WILL BE FEB 1
WATER- DRINK ONLY WATER FOR AT LEAST 3 WEEKS. You can still have coffee- but think about drinking only decaf after 9AM. No diet drinks for a while.
BREAKFAST- YOU MUST START EATING A GOOD BREAKFAST.
EATING 5 OR 6 TIMES A DAY.
Here is what Jan 2010 looked like for me.
Breakfast- Yogurt with pecans or walnuts, Fruit. (Don’t do a lot of bacon, eggs because you will get sick of those when you start the low carb phase.) I loved cream of wheat and Oatmeal on cold Jan morns.
Mid-morn- small apple or nuts- or 1/2 protein bar
Lunch- small salad
Mid-afternoon- apple or nuts or 1/2 protein bar
Evening- small portion meat and three (vegis) w/ glass of milk.
EXERCISE: YOU HAVE TO DO SOME SORT OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY 5 0R 6 TIMES PER WEEK. It is Jan, so if the weather is the least bit good- get outside. If weather is bad do a gym workout. Vary what you do. I would run- walk- hike- treadmill-elliptical- Start slow. Try some of those workouts on your TV- they are good. Vary what you do.
JM Secret to Success- One exercise I really believe in is a straight arm squat- Start with a broom stick, and hold it high with 2 hands and straight arms over your head and do 10 full squats holding the broom stick over your head with straight arms. Work up to 3x10 and do it twice a week. Add weight slowly. Do not go over 45 lbs.
I got to where I was doing the bar (45 lbs) 3x10 with really good technique. It did wonders for my core!
Do this for 1 month. Pray that God will remove the idol of food. Try not to binge, but if you do- just come back the next day.
The Goal of Month #1 is to build a fitness base. You are eating and drinking water to fuel your body as a workout machine.
FEBRUARY: This is a short month.
Day 1: Weigh In on a good scale- one that you will use a lot. No cheap bathroom scale. One great tool I used was Wii Fit- it was a good scale and keeps the record for you.
Psych Prep- Before you weigh… you cannot worry about that number. Your mind will play tricks on you throughout the process. Today is a beginning- you are worth more than what a scale says about you.
Goal: Keep improving in exercise and eat consistently good choices. Begin to limit portions from time to time. Eat slowly and enjoy it- enjoy the company more than the food. Add multi-vitamin-multi-mineral.
Exercise- get outside as much as possible. Pick one day a week to go long and hard. Vary the workouts and be smart. An injury or bad tendonitis will set you back. Listen to your body. Stretch.
As the weather gets better- learn to praise God as you run and revel in the glory of nature!
March: Spring Break is coming and you will need a break. Do 1 week normal. The week before spring break try to eat the least you have eaten the whole year. Feel some hunger pains and try to drown them with water or decaff coffee. Don’t skip meals- just cut the portions back.
Spring break- Take the week off- run or walk only for fun.
If you have a week after spring break- get back into an exercise routine.
THE OFFICIAL DIET BEGINS IN APRIL! THE CRUELEST MONTH.
APRIL: This is the serious time- time to go for it! YOU CAN DO THIS!
Week 1: 800 calories and no more than 20 carbs. You are going to be miserable for about 4 days.
Almost like you have the flu. Exercise will be really hard, but try to do it even though you will do less.
WATER/WATER/WATER- Smart water for electrolytes (64-128 fluid oz)
EAT all 800 calories and try to keep it about 5 carbs per meal.
Buy some ketostix at pharmacy and test for ketosis- you want to get in ketosis by day 3 (turn it moderate at least) and you want to be in ketosis for about 45 continuous days.
YOU MUST WRITE DOWN OR RECORD ON YOUR SMART PHONE TO KEEP UP WITH THE CALORIE COUNT (there are great apps for this - I use 'daily burn' but there are other good ones. )
Here is a sample day for me:
Breakfast-eggs/bacon/sausage with cheese
Snack- 3 cubes of cheese
Lunch- Grilled chicken breast (2)
Dinner- Grill a BIG steak and eat fat and all
If you do not drink a ton of water- you will have a hard time with BM’s. You may want to slowly add some benefiber. But don’t be shocked if you go 2 or 3 days without a BM once you hit this phase.
JM Success Secret- The Ketosticks will excite you- a dark color means you are burning fat. Weigh every 3 days. You might drop 9-15 lbs in 1 week- but it is mostly water weight. BTW- You will pee non stop for about 2 weeks. And enjoy grilling meat- eat fish- big ham- pork chops- ribs- lavishly eat red meat. Eat big omelets.
Things that will save you: Hot sauce- 0 carbs- Mustard.
Week 2- 800 calories and slowly add more carbs but try to stay in ketosis- Dark green vegis and almonds. Do not go over 30 carbs a day in week 2.
One thing that really helped me was the internet- you can google almost any food and get the nutritional info.
Some huge finds:
Kroger has a yogurt called Carbmaster- 80 cals and 4 grams of carbs- it is cheap and tastes great!
Almonds were my survival food- 24 nuts is 170 cal and 5 carbs
One thing I noticed was that my body adjusted by week 2 to the exercise- I was running fairly well on No carbs- Why? No idea- but it worked fine for me.
Week 3- I had my first challenges with eating out;
A lot of Salads- no croutons- and I tried to eat just ½ of it.
Hot wings and side salad kept me in ketosis
Now by week 3- I was totally hooked and in the zone-
Start- 246.6
Week 1- 237
Week 2- 231.4
Week 3- 228.2
I was feeling great and rolling.
Around weeks 4 or 5, I began trying more calories and exercising harder. I would eat a ½ apple with peanut butter about an hour before running. Grapes tasted like candy.
I felt the best and kept the stick dark with 1200 cal and 35 carbs a day.
I added a few treats- Soy milk with Stevia if I ran well that day
I found a 9 carb bread and did a few ½ sandwiches and burgers
I stayed in Ketosis from day 3 to day 48. And lost 29 lbs in 45 days.
On Monday, I will post how to transition off and some thoughts about maintenance.
Friday, January 07, 2011
The Blog Everyone Has Been Asking For.... (part 2)
The next few days I am going to document how I lost over 50 lbs in 2010- this is what worked for me- but it begins with 26 years of failure. I hope you are encouraged. Because there is some background here- let me give you the January goal- don't diet yet- eat normal- but SLOWLY begin to get your body in shape. Fuel your body while you build cardio endurance, muscular strength, and flexibility. Your strict diet will not begin until April- so gear your mind for a LONG process and it will happen.
Psychological and Spiritual Factors in Weight Loss:
I need to address the most crucial of all the weight loss factors in my struggle. Losing weight begins on the INSIDE. I have to admit there are some idolatry issues in this. Food can be a powerful idol, it combines with a longing for comfort and desire to be filled. My quest for taste and fullness, pleasure and excess, with no regard for my body as a temple is a huge deal here.
And these idols are so deeply seated in my heart that I am still very much in danger to be lured and trapped yet again.
I remember the horror of reading Philippians 3:18,19 ( For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things.) and knowing that was describing me.
The beauty of the gospel was that over time, I was able to say – “Lord, this is me. My only hope is You. I trust in Your death to cover me and the truth of the gospel message to set me free.”
And yet this was a 20 year seemingly unanswered prayer- but I say again and again. The big things- the important things- take decades in God’s timing. You must search Him out and wait and wait and wait- and be willing to be content that His delivery comes at a much different timetable than we can see. But He is faithful.
There are psychological tricks here as well. One is Human Apperception.
In psychology, apperception is "the process by which new experience is assimilated to and transformed by the residuum of past experience of an individual to form a new whole." In short, it is to perceive new experience in relation to past experience.
Example:
A rich child and a poor child walking together come across the same ten dollar bill on the sidewalk. The rich child says it is not very much money and the poor child says it is a lot of money. The difference lies in how they apperceive the same event – the lens of past experience through which they see and value (or devalue) the money.—Christopher Ott (source wikipedia)
They way this impacted me was the man in the mirror. I would gain 5 or 10 lbs and look at myself and feel disgust or anger or shame or hurt. Then I would lose 5 lbs and see myself in the mirror and feel such victory.The view was always an extreme; a warped stretch of the reality.
Photographs disturbed me more than the mirror. Someone would show me a picture of me and I would feel so bad about how heavy I looked. A year or so later, I would feel the same pain at a new photo and look at last years and wonder why I couldn’t at least look like last year.
The amazing difference was in '10 year' pictures. I would look at an old picture (that I previously thought was disgusting) and long for being that way again.
All of this though was a sinful human heart being swayed by my sinful and tainted senses. For example: if my wife told I looked good, my image was accepted and I was OK. If she told me I had gained weight, it pushed me into that dark hole.
It is important to remind ourselves that we are not regarded by others in these extremes. I rarely notice the weight change on others and in the long run, I don't care. If you are reading this right now, don't feel bad about how you look. You are you- people know you as you are- and though we think that appearance is something that indicates acceptance or rejection, it is never as important as we think. A warm smile and bright eyes and a loving spirit shows through way more than what your body shape is. Stop beating yourself up.
Without sounding 'hokey'- I also sensed that the enemy used quiet heart whispers to further push the pain. There is a demonic part to the inner voices that say, “You’ll never defeat this” or “You’re just a pig” or “How can you say you glorify God when your temple is a wreck”. Those thoughts were darker and deeper that just my heart. How that works, I just don’t know. I don’t think it is Satan himself, but the dark forces of evil tend to do these types of whisper campaigns to torture believers.
About 3 years ago, I began to become more aware of these battles and began to confront them. As I began to feel some small victories and growing in confidence, the battle pressed harder. I had some vicious attacks come through false accusations, misunderstandings, gossip, and deadly rumors.
But God kept picking me up and I began to fight consistently and well. Not in words so much as in deep prayer and positive attitudes. When the battle was really raging I would get up each morning and say: “No matter what the devil or world throws my way today- I will rejoice- I am a son of the King of the universe- Jesus Christ my Lord loved me- He died for me- I am a blessed man- I am overflowing with joy, hope, and love.”
I also would begin to pray for people who were being used in attacks toward me. I wasn’t growing bitter toward them. The largest victory came when I was so full of mercy at those who misunderstood or disliked me. I felt true love for them. I prayed for their health, I spoke well of them to others, I looked to serve them, and when they wounded me, I copied my Lord’s prayer “Father forgive them, they know not what they do”. Now please, I did not do this perfectly… I got angry, at times, in the fight, I slipped at times, I accepted that I sometimes deserved the attacks- But the Holy Spirit deserves ALL THE CREDIT- as I began to get better in this fight.
I wrote some blog postings during March of 2010. It captures a lot of what I learned in this three year concentrated and intense spiritual battle. I encourage you to spend some time in these if you have experienced some of these same feelings of shame and disappointment in yourself. Remember that you will suffer tribulation in this world and learn how to keep your joy in spite of circumstances.
Ok I have taken a long time talking about this ‘philosophy stuff’.
But I have to reiterate all of this. Do you see the long buildup? Do you see the deed seated roots of this problem? Do you understand it is not just physical? It is not so simple to say:’Oh well just stop eating and exercise'- and it is offensive when a thin person asks if you want to lose weight and you say yes and then they say "Push that fat butt away from the table."
Also- without the life changing, Holy Spirit given, gospel message- what hope do we have?
Jesus loves me- fat or thin. His death covers all of my failings and sin. Can you embrace that? It is hard… so many people say “I just can’t accept that- it seems too easy” but my friend I am crying to you again- YOU CANNOT EARN GOD”S FAVOR. YOU CANNOT BE GOOD OR DISCIPLINED. YOU CANNOT DO GOOD WORKS AND GO TO HEAVEN.
It is a sheer gift- we call it grace.
I could care less if this inspires you to lose weight. My desire is for all of us to fall on our knees and cry out to the God of mercy and say to Him: LORD- I give this to You! You are God! You are in control. Take this… take me.. I cannot do any good. If you marked my sin or counted it against me- I am in trouble- But YOU LOVE ME- your death proves it- your resurrection validates Your sacrifice. My only hope is Christ. In Christ alone- I have FAITH in HIM- I trust HIM- I don’t even understand how it all works- but I lay every thing I have- my life- my eternity- my affections on Him.
And when it is all through- at the end of the day- what I just did is by HIM TOO! What a God! What a Savior! How can I not proclaim this to the world! What a message!
Finally- the fruit of this latest victory came at the exact right time. It was God's timing. He got me ready for it. And now I see that He had a BIG reason for giving me this victory after 26 years of failing.
So I will list it out like this:
STEP 1- SPIRITUAL GROWTH.. I began to apply the Word more, pray more, and fight
STEP 2- RELEASING FEAR AND PAIN FROM DAILY LIFE..The realization of this was when in 2009 we finished 3-7 in football. I can't remember a time that this had ever happened to me. Every coach in America fears these types of years.
But, it was a blessing to understand that I'M OK- I DID NOT DIE!. Instead of running to food and poor self esteem I actually found a huge desire to get better.
I stood in front of the new group of seniors in Jan of 2010 and said “Watch me- you are going to see me change- I am going to work and compete- follow my lead” and I began to take it day by day- but I was determined to be the hardest working person on our campus- and I went after it mentally, physically, and spiritually. It felt good to fight! Everyday as I ran, all I did was to pray for those seniors... I wanted them to have a great year and I wanted to lead everyone I could by my example.
STEP 3- CELEBRATING SMALL VICTORIES- I did not gain weight during the 2009 season- which was significant.It did not dawn on me until after my meeting with the rising seniors.
STEP 4- FACING THE REALITY OF POOR HEALTH – I knew my blood pressure was growing and my wife kept up her concern- this was a silent killer- and what would my family do?
STEP 5- GETTING INTO THE ROUTINE- I had a good exercise routine going- I was finally healthy enough to run without pain and smart enough to know how to pace myself and cross train. (Take days off, do elliptical training,swim, ride a bike on sunny days). I was also smart to not start a diet in January. I decided to let my body get in shape for a month.I needed to fuel my workouts. The plan was to get an initial weight in Feb and begin to slowly change eating habits. I started with breakfast every morning, a lot of water, and eating 5 or 6 small meals a day. I did this Feb and March and I lost about 10 lbs.
GOD'S MIRACLE –In April 2009- Out of the blue- one of my best friends – inspired, persuaded, and sponsored me to join Medi-Weightloss in Brentwood in April- it was a perfect time of year to begin the journey. I can't say enough of what he did for me. I hope I have the means one day to do this for someone else.
The other things had to have taken place for this to work. But I do know that my commitment to not let my friend down and the great plan at Medi was huge. I will talk more about what I learned from them tomorrow.
From March 15- June 30- I lost an additional 39 lbs. The fun part was that as the days got warmer and I saw real weight coming off, I got great motivation to keep going. When I finally had my metabolism and eating right I was losing about 2-4 lbs a week.
Without the gospel- without the timing- without all of the above- it would have been a waste of time. Please see that this is a process- a long time… a lot of failure. Then, at the perfect moment, God takes over- HE IS NEVER LATE- BUT HE IS RARELY EARLY.
Tomorrow I am going to share a ‘diet’ plan.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
The Blog Everyone Has Been Asking For.... (part 1)
The next few weeks I am going to document how I lost over 50 lbs in 2010- this is what worked for me- but it begins with 26 years of failure. I hope you are encouraged. Because there is some background here- let me give you the January goal- don't diet yet- eat normal- but SLOWLY begin to get your body in shape. Fuel your body while you build cardio endurance, muscular strength, and flexibility. Your strict diet will not begin until April- so gear your mind for a LONG process and it will happen.
My Life Long Weight Struggle and Recent Success
Intro: I have had a losing battle with weight for 26 years. I guess I have had a food issue since I was very young. I had the typical 'teen skinniness' helped by a lot of sports and I even was underweight during the spring of my senior year.
But the look of my body did not tell an accurate picture.
#1- Even though I was an athlete- I really did not train/eat/hydrate properly. I can’t say enough how I would like to see what it would have been like to go through our football program today ( and even if I could last). Coach Ryan McSwain has developed the best strength and conditioning program I have ever seen.
But my life as a football player does have distinct weights recorded in my brain, so I can track the decline. I tried my hardest to gain weight during my high school football days to no real avail. (Now I know that I just did not know how to really do it right. Gaining weight is EXERCISE and eating more of the good stuff- losing weight is EATING and exercise with the bold words being the most important and hardest.)
My senior year (fall) I had pushed it up to a whopping 165 lbs! But I remember weighing around March that same year and because I had stopped lifting (and in those days it meant bench, incline bench, and arm curls for the girls) and had withered to a very puny 150.
Then something strange happened- I hit the ‘man’ phase. I am not talking about puberty…. But there is something different that happens when a boy hits that 18-21 year old body. You see it most commonly as a boy moves from his Jr to Sr year. I still regret that I was so young for my grade. I was an August birthday. (I did not turn 16 until the summer of my Junior year and some of my classmates had been driving as freshmen.)
It started when I spent the entire spring semester at the Sports Medicine and Fitness Institute as an exercise technician and getting school credit as part of the Birmingham School System Executive High School Internship Program (that was a mouthful. Basically, I worked and they just gave me A’s in all my spring classes).
At SMFI, I began to work a little harder. Russ Polhemus was the first one to push me more distance running. I had never been over a mile. He gradually built me up to 4 or 5 miles. He also began getting me more consistent on a total body weight lifting program- squats ,cleans, lat pulls..etc.
In May or June, I decided to walk-on at Alabama and remember stepping on a scale at SMFI the next day and I weighed 178 lbs! I was pumped. But it is that man thing, even without SMFI I would have gained a lot of that. (OH! to have played my Senior year at 185 lbs.. it would have been sweet!)
My first day at Alabama I weighed in at 185.
Now, I loved my time at Alabama. I wish now I had been a little tougher and ‘big picture minded’ and I totally did my summers wrong (note to all college athletes- go to summer school and lift with the team in the strength coach’s program, yes it is hard, but you cannot do it better alone).
But to live as a college athlete means developing some habits that you have to transition out of or you are in TROUBLE.
Here’s what I mean:
#1 EATING- When I started eating at Bryant Hall, my guess is that I began consuming about 3,000 calories per meal. And listen, I was a world class eater! From my 7/8 year old days until now, I never had anything left on my plate after a meal. That has been a mental cue for me in this latest battle. (When I go out to eat now I will leave food on my plate and call it a victory. I also want to split a meal with my wife when we go out and still leave food on my plate.)
Those ladies at Bryant Hall could cook. They were the sweetest women I have ever known in my life and they loved stuffing us like turkeys. We had mandatory breakfast, gourmet lunches, and dinner for Kings. I had the pleasure of making the ‘Scout team training table’ every week under Coach Ray Perkins and had Steak, Shrimp, and occasional Lobster all the time!
We then had 10PM snacks. I would eat 2 or 3 sandwiches made with this peanut butter and honey mixture- chocolate milk.
#2 EXERCISE- All the eating was burned either in football or worse the dreaded off-season workouts (which just about killed me, but was really the first time in my life that I truly worked).
I remember my first off-season with Coach Al Miller. Because of a quirk in my school schedule, I had the 6AM weightlifting shift on MWF and the running shift on Tues/Th afternoons. I could do the running- I ran high school track, so 200’s, 400’s, 800’s and mile runs were no problem. The fact that he put us on the stopwatch was a problem because it meant I couldn’t fake one or loaf.
But those 6AM weight workouts….. we would lift 3 sets of 10 (and parallel squats 3x10 will make you wish you had never been born) based on a 10 rep max. But after a while- you did 3x10 OF YOUR 10 rep max!
This is the honest truth….. I woke up one morning around 3:30 AM. My legs were so sore and in such pain that I began crying… and then I realized I had to workout in about 21/2 hours. It was the single most period of dread in my entire life. But I survived. I even remember pushing through and actually making every rep.
(Now this is way too long and I’m the only one who I’m doing this for) but one last note- I wish I had handled my down time better at Alabama. I made my grades, etc. But I used a 'woe is me, tired dog attitude'- to allow me to lay around and rot way too much. I would have adjusted fine to what I was doing if I had rested a little, studied, and gotten out and done fun things, more activities, more people oriented things. That was a habit forming thing too.)
OK- the problem was not when I was playing. Bryant Hall eating plan and Al Miller’s death camps resulted in me getting to 195… muscled, lean, and fast. Not nearly good enough to actually play at Alabama, but I could go toe to toe in practice and feel really good about myself.
Then…. I stopped the playing, I quit the exercise… but I kept the eating.
In the late Spring of 1984, I accepted Coach Perkins’ generous offer to become a Student Resident Assistant at Bryant Hall which paid room and board. That meant I was no longer a football player.
In one year’s time, I went from 195 lb’s of muscle to 212 lb’s of out of shape sluggishness. I distinctly remember putting on my sweat pants one morning and realizing that they fit way too snug. I went over to the athletic complex and weighed… 212! I was in shock. It was the first in a series of these deep gut feelings of disappointment and shame.
I went out to the fields and began jogging. Alabama was in spring drills and Coach Perkins asked a trainer who was jogging around the field. He said “Jay Mathews” and Coach Perkins told the trainer to go over and tell me I had gotten fat.
I’m peddling along.. and this trainer jogs over to me. “Coach Perkins sent me over here to tell you that you have gotten fat.”
So from 1984 until Jan 2010 (26 years), I had had an ache of feeling this complex variety of feelings, moods, small successes, and bitter defeats with weight gain.
One quick note- I don’t look at that trainer’s comment or Coach Perkins in any ill way. At the time, it hurt, because I knew it was true. It wasn’t said in a mean way. It was just a brute fact. One more interesting note- I don’t know why (and this isn’t 100% - but it is 85-90%)- but former football skill players, backs, Qb’s tend to get fat after their playing days and Linemen tend to trim down. I have said for years, backs get fat. And they do.
My freshman year at Alabama, Major Ogilvie returned to watch a practice. I worshipped that guy! At the end of practice, Coach Bryant called him over to talk to the team. Coach Bryant mumbled something about Major being a ‘Helluva back’ but now would have to play guard and we all laughed. But even then I noticed that Major just chuckled and now I know what he felt that day.
For the record: 1984 (212)- 1987 (I lost down to 205)- 1988 ( I got married at 218)-
1991 ( I remember getting up to 225 and sometime around 1993 or 94 I lost back to 218 again). But in 1991 I started coaching football which was a general run of gaining 10 lbs during the season and losing 5 in the off season.
1995- 225 net 1996-2003 – fluctuated between 228 and 231- I remember being so appalled at anytime I pushed 230 that I would starve myself for a few days.
I also remember doing Atkins at some point twice and weight watchers once.
Atkins the first time- huge early success 15 lbs off in no time. But I never transitioned right and my wife despised it (fatty red meat and no volume reduction).. so it fizzeled.
The 2nd time I was in my 30’s and I was undergoing some big digestive changes biologically- I spent 2 or 3 years getting diverticulitis twice and having to be hospitalized for 3 or 4 days. Atkins #2 led to a colitus bout and I dumped it again.
Issues with my experience of Atkins- your body has a nasty rebound. Once you swear off bad carbs, it means you should not go back in my opinon.
Weight watchers makes a lot of sense- you have a limit- you can have more volume if the food is better. But it is a lot of counting- no real commitment to exercise or food restrictions- and I found myself going to meetings with all women and feeling way out of place.
2004- my mom passes away, I change jobs, move to Nashville, take stress and pressure to food comfort- keep exercising (in fact I am a much harder exerciser now than ever in my 20’s or 30’s)- but I slowly kept the plus 10 minus 5 decline.
Somewhere between 2007 and 2008 I hit 245 for the first time and it about shocked me to death. I had been doing some heavy weight lifting and felt healthy and strong… yikes!
2008 had a physical and my doctor told me I had one last chance to get my weight and blood pressure down- I was borderline to going on blood pressure medication. I weighed 248 that day.
The winter of 2008 I am afraid that I got in the high 250’s- none of my clothes fit.
Jan of 2009 I had a good new year’s resolution start and dropped down to 238.
I went into the football season of 2009 at 242.
And that season was the first break of a 26 year cycle and movement to real change.
Next post: psychological and spiritual factors and how I begin to see real change
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A Christmas Blessing....Don't Miss It...this year
Set your mind right now to not let this season of blessing slip by. Take it and squeeze out every drop... Thanks again to Eugene Peterson:
Psalm 128-A Pilgrim Song
The gift is not because we are good- I am a great sinner-the gift is because HE IS GOOD.
1-2 All you who fear God, how blessed you are!
how happily you walk on his smooth straight road!
You worked hard and deserve all you've got coming.Enjoy the blessing! Revel in the goodness!
3-4 Your wife will bear children as a vine bears grapes,your household lush as a vineyard,The children around your tableas fresh and promising as young olive shoots.Stand in awe of God's Yes.Oh, how he blesses the one who fears God!
5-6 Enjoy the good life in Jerusalemevery day of your life.And enjoy your grandchildren.Peace to Israel!
How can anyone say that the way is smooth and straight? Isn't Christianity so hard it is painful? No my friend, being a Christian is easy- being an unrepentant sinner is hard.
HH Farmer- go against the grain of the universe and you will get splinters.
J.H. Newman (paraphrase): "If I want to travel north and all the roads are cut to the east, of course I will complain of the roads. I will find nothing but obstacles;I will have to surmount walls, and cross rivers- never finding the end- only failure. So it is with all who seek happiness for their own end- the signposts to Zion are well marked- but we ignore them and stubbornly bushwack our own way. Of course we will meet thwartings, and disappointments, and failure- then we get mad at God for making it so hard- religion is an inconvenience only to those who are going against the compass-."
The above Psalm is just one of the many ways I have experienced the pouring out of mercy by the Holy Spirit this Christmas season. John Calvin used to press his congregation to pursue deeper happiness- seeking the pleasure that goes beyond the world's standard of ease, honor, and great wealth.
So this morning I am reveling in God's great YES. The last few days I have been able to see how blessed I am. The wife He has given me- the children of joy that light my heart with life- the beautiful friends who love me- my extended family who pray faithfully. For one whole week I have been able to retreat from the contrary winds of the pilgrim life and soak in the peace and warmth of God's riches- this is a blessing of Christmas.
My friends- I am calling out to all- right now in your heart see that Christ is right here- He is right there- He has NEVER forsaken you- and He holds no grudge for our ignoring Him- look deep inside and say to Him right now- 'THANK-YOU- Lord, help me sip the wine of your sweet gift this Christmas'.
The gift is not because we are good- I am a great sinner-the gift is because HE IS GOOD.
At that very moment of that prayer, He begins to pull out the splinters and salve your hurting heart. And you will SEE His provision all around you.
JOY, which was the small publicity of the pagan,
is the GIGANTIC SECRET of the ChristianG.K. Chesterton
Hug those who are with you and bask in the riches of His love- MERRY CHRISTMAS!
And let's all walk on that smooth well-worn path of blessing- all the way to Zion!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Re-post "Walking through Wounds"
This is always such an amazing time of year. It is a chance for reflection.
I took a long time today in my blog: www.jayopsis.blogspot.com and re-read years of journal entries and posts.
This one is from Dec 1- 2008. God's truth is still as true today as it was then. I know this sounds crazy- but I am doing great and have had Christmas cheer all day today. Isn't God good!
Life wounds….. there is no getting around it. It isn’t always tragic, it sometimes just pricks like a thorn. But it’s those little tears that can add up the most. Life lets you down.
I want to thank Bill Delvaux for opening a window to explore this, because it is these hurts that point us eventually toward heaven and it is pain that inexplicably keeps the heart alive.
Life is often a series of disappointment: Robert Frost correctly asserted that ‘nothing Gold can stay’- even the good moments are fleeting and drift away in slivers. I always thought it was appropriate that Pip experienced all the shock of seeing his world collapse in “Great Expectations”.
“All the truths of my position came flashing on me; and its disappointments, dangers, disgraces, consequences of all kinds, rushed in in such a multitude that I was borne down by them and had to struggle for every breath I drew.”
But it was the subtle letdowns that he noticed first:
My (new) clothes were rather a disappointment, of course. Probably every new and eagerly expected garment ever put on since clothes came in, fell a trifle short of the wearer's expectation.
A big part of Christian maturity is accepting the ‘beautiful letdown’ as a reality that does not dampen joy or hope.
The apostle Paul makes this point vividly clear in Roman 8:18 “ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because [6] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good…”
But it is not an easy lesson to learn. It must be experienced by faith over time. It means silent suffering and patient endurance. It really is like birth pangs that ebb and flow with variations of intensity.
I have had my share of deep hurts.. including the loss of my mom.
But it is the subtle wounds that can exasperate, partly because they send mixed messages. Is God angry with me? Is this deserved discipline? Is He protecting me?
I look back over old notes regarding a time in my life where I sought a head coaching job. I ended up being the runner up four times in a row! My reactions were all over the place… sometimes anger, sometimes laughter.
Look at some of my former journal entries:
2002
There has always been a cry inside of me. It’s hard to describe exactly, something akin to a hunger. It throbs and fluctuates, groaning to be born. But it always stops. I am somewhat afraid of it…is this the evil part of me? Is it an unquenchable thirst for pleasure and self-satisfaction that wants to destroy all the good intentions of my creator?
I am afraid because I know it is tied to my ego- that part of me that wants to matter, to be noticed, to be applauded as the winner of whatever race I am in. Is it evil? Does it miss the mark- what the English termed a sin?
I am also afraid because it may turn out to be a sham. Some wild excuse to sound pseudo-philosophical and be nodded to by the brilliant. It is so funny, I am a roller coaster between self-assertion and self-denial, self-confidence and self-condemnation…. and now I chastise myself for self-absorption.
I have lived long enough now to have more questions than answers. I have read the great writers and realized that I can’t even read, much less write. I have heard the great preachers, and realized I can’t hear. I have mulled over the great thinkers and realized I can’t think. The only really good thing I do is forget.
Then I soothe myself by finding someone lower than me, only to realize that I perceive him to be lower, I can see no farther into him than he can into me. So what is my premise?
I am glad I am not a mathematician or a scientist. I am glad I am not a lawyer or a doctor. Lord knows we need all of these. I am glad I am not a mechanic, or a plumber, or an accountant, but I am glad my wife is an accountant.
I am glad to be me. I enjoy appreciating the dull things. I do love life and all in all it is an easy one. There is a part of me afraid of God. Afraid that He will look down at me one day and say, “suffer”. I know there is pain a comin’- death of loved ones (update mom passed away in Jan 2004, brother in drug rehab 2004). I feel a knee twinge now, or get a gas pain in my side, or have heart burn and I pause..”is this cancer? A heart attack? Arthritis? Lou Gherig’s disease?” Then I pause again and say, “What a poor view of my Father I have”. God design is not zapping people out of their mirth; it is getting me to trust Him enough to ascend the mountain of His pleasure.
But I’m writing today to say that I fell trapped. I am a gold fish swimming so hard against the edge of the bowl that I am fagged out- (thanks for letting me reclaim the term). I am punching against golden puppet threads and am tangled. I see the air on my gauge at critical, but am too far under the surface to survive. And so I am crying out.
I do not want to be cut loose from my wife or my girls. I do not want away from my Lord. But I need to get away from this sanctuary. I have been too safe for too long. It feels so good to lie here and soak, but I’m afraid that if I stay too long I will lose my desire to ever move again. I’m too young to pull in my reins and rest. Will I then find I have saved all I have, risked nothing, but never gained anything?
So how do I approach this? How does God’s sovereignty fit in with my knack for manipulation and coercion? Can I push so hard that I go where God cannot bless me? Do I sit back and find I never arrived where He could use me? One has faith to sit and wait – am I showing faith by swatting every gnat in my eye?
I am discovering that the truth of God that states that He put eternity in my heart (Ecclesiastes) can feel sometimes like a curse- it is a madness that tortures me. So I am crying to you- Oh my Father- get me out or take me out or take out that part that wants out….just please help…. I am not demanding…. I am begging and it probably sounds like a whimper.
It is now more than 6 years later… and I see God’s purposes more clearly. But I am still a man who hurts… cut me and I still bleed.
Losses still hurt…. Arguments still frustrate…. Rejection still wounds me.
But I am more able to at least say, “Blessed be the name of the Lord”.
I see that the granting of tears, teaches compassion. Ravi Z is right, I will feel no passion to change until I feel the pressure in my own soul. There are seasons- A time to laugh and a time to cry- My prayer is that we always show compassion and love first- it is actually more important that the truth that comes later?
The question will come: Why?
There are a lot of wrong answers to the question of wounds and a few wrong responses to these happenings. I don’t have time to go into it in detail- but there is a growing Heresy within the evangelical church that is a new spin in age old unbiblical answers to these issues.
These heretics are not bad people- but unfortunately are giving advice that sounds good to the human ear, but really offers no real hope- in fact, in the end it robs them of a path to true recovery.
So hear me very clearly-God is great and God is good/ Great in that He is in control- He ordains these dark times and will use them to His glory. The very second you say that God is not in control, you began to rob Him of His Godness and you begin to believe that He is not trustworthy.
A surprising help to me is Psalm 107
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so- what is the so? Oh Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His steadfast Lord endures forever. Whom He has redeemed from trouble.
4-9 Some wandered- became hungry and thirsty- He led to straight way satisfies the longing. All of us are wanderers.
10-16 Some sat as prisoners- shadows of death- for they rebelled- example of substance abuse - you cannot escape- there are all kinds of dependency- the heart of the addict.
17-22 Some foolish- sowing and reaping-
23-32 Some just experienced storms of life- not making the team/ injury/ sickness
33-42- The general providence of God- divorce/bankruptcy/cancer/crime/ school authority and decisions of those in authority
Hear the promises in this Psalm:
Cry to the Lord and He delivered
Thank Him for His steadfast love
He satisfies- He fills the hungry
He brings them out of the shadow of death
He breaks the bonds- shatters iron and bronze bars
He delivers from distress
He sends His word and heals them
He delivers from destruction
He controls nature
He prospers
He shuts the mouth of the wicked
43- Attend to these things- consider the steadfast love- and SAY SO
TELL OTHERS OF HIS GOODNESS- EVEN IN THE MIDST OF PAIN.
IF YOU CAN HURT AND STILL PRAISE THE LORD…. YOU ARE REALLY LIVING!
IF YOU CAN HURT AND SERVE OTHERS… YOU ARE REALLY CARING!
IF LIFE CAN LET YOU DOWN AND YOU STILL FEEL JOY AND HOPE… YOU ARE REALLY READY FOR HEAVEN!
And here I am 2 years later- And I can fully say LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO- I WILL SAY HE IS GREAT AND HE IS GOOD! AMEN!
I took a long time today in my blog: www.jayopsis.blogspot.com and re-read years of journal entries and posts.
This one is from Dec 1- 2008. God's truth is still as true today as it was then. I know this sounds crazy- but I am doing great and have had Christmas cheer all day today. Isn't God good!
Walking Through Wounds With Joy and Hope
I want to thank Bill Delvaux for opening a window to explore this, because it is these hurts that point us eventually toward heaven and it is pain that inexplicably keeps the heart alive.
Life is often a series of disappointment: Robert Frost correctly asserted that ‘nothing Gold can stay’- even the good moments are fleeting and drift away in slivers. I always thought it was appropriate that Pip experienced all the shock of seeing his world collapse in “Great Expectations”.
“All the truths of my position came flashing on me; and its disappointments, dangers, disgraces, consequences of all kinds, rushed in in such a multitude that I was borne down by them and had to struggle for every breath I drew.”
But it was the subtle letdowns that he noticed first:
My (new) clothes were rather a disappointment, of course. Probably every new and eagerly expected garment ever put on since clothes came in, fell a trifle short of the wearer's expectation.
A big part of Christian maturity is accepting the ‘beautiful letdown’ as a reality that does not dampen joy or hope.
The apostle Paul makes this point vividly clear in Roman 8:18 “ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because [6] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good…”
But it is not an easy lesson to learn. It must be experienced by faith over time. It means silent suffering and patient endurance. It really is like birth pangs that ebb and flow with variations of intensity.
I have had my share of deep hurts.. including the loss of my mom.
But it is the subtle wounds that can exasperate, partly because they send mixed messages. Is God angry with me? Is this deserved discipline? Is He protecting me?
I look back over old notes regarding a time in my life where I sought a head coaching job. I ended up being the runner up four times in a row! My reactions were all over the place… sometimes anger, sometimes laughter.
Look at some of my former journal entries:
2002
There has always been a cry inside of me. It’s hard to describe exactly, something akin to a hunger. It throbs and fluctuates, groaning to be born. But it always stops. I am somewhat afraid of it…is this the evil part of me? Is it an unquenchable thirst for pleasure and self-satisfaction that wants to destroy all the good intentions of my creator?
I am afraid because I know it is tied to my ego- that part of me that wants to matter, to be noticed, to be applauded as the winner of whatever race I am in. Is it evil? Does it miss the mark- what the English termed a sin?
I am also afraid because it may turn out to be a sham. Some wild excuse to sound pseudo-philosophical and be nodded to by the brilliant. It is so funny, I am a roller coaster between self-assertion and self-denial, self-confidence and self-condemnation…. and now I chastise myself for self-absorption.
I have lived long enough now to have more questions than answers. I have read the great writers and realized that I can’t even read, much less write. I have heard the great preachers, and realized I can’t hear. I have mulled over the great thinkers and realized I can’t think. The only really good thing I do is forget.
Then I soothe myself by finding someone lower than me, only to realize that I perceive him to be lower, I can see no farther into him than he can into me. So what is my premise?
I am glad I am not a mathematician or a scientist. I am glad I am not a lawyer or a doctor. Lord knows we need all of these. I am glad I am not a mechanic, or a plumber, or an accountant, but I am glad my wife is an accountant.
I am glad to be me. I enjoy appreciating the dull things. I do love life and all in all it is an easy one. There is a part of me afraid of God. Afraid that He will look down at me one day and say, “suffer”. I know there is pain a comin’- death of loved ones (update mom passed away in Jan 2004, brother in drug rehab 2004). I feel a knee twinge now, or get a gas pain in my side, or have heart burn and I pause..”is this cancer? A heart attack? Arthritis? Lou Gherig’s disease?” Then I pause again and say, “What a poor view of my Father I have”. God design is not zapping people out of their mirth; it is getting me to trust Him enough to ascend the mountain of His pleasure.
But I’m writing today to say that I fell trapped. I am a gold fish swimming so hard against the edge of the bowl that I am fagged out- (thanks for letting me reclaim the term). I am punching against golden puppet threads and am tangled. I see the air on my gauge at critical, but am too far under the surface to survive. And so I am crying out.
I do not want to be cut loose from my wife or my girls. I do not want away from my Lord. But I need to get away from this sanctuary. I have been too safe for too long. It feels so good to lie here and soak, but I’m afraid that if I stay too long I will lose my desire to ever move again. I’m too young to pull in my reins and rest. Will I then find I have saved all I have, risked nothing, but never gained anything?
So how do I approach this? How does God’s sovereignty fit in with my knack for manipulation and coercion? Can I push so hard that I go where God cannot bless me? Do I sit back and find I never arrived where He could use me? One has faith to sit and wait – am I showing faith by swatting every gnat in my eye?
I am discovering that the truth of God that states that He put eternity in my heart (Ecclesiastes) can feel sometimes like a curse- it is a madness that tortures me. So I am crying to you- Oh my Father- get me out or take me out or take out that part that wants out….just please help…. I am not demanding…. I am begging and it probably sounds like a whimper.
It is now more than 6 years later… and I see God’s purposes more clearly. But I am still a man who hurts… cut me and I still bleed.
Losses still hurt…. Arguments still frustrate…. Rejection still wounds me.
But I am more able to at least say, “Blessed be the name of the Lord”.
I see that the granting of tears, teaches compassion. Ravi Z is right, I will feel no passion to change until I feel the pressure in my own soul. There are seasons- A time to laugh and a time to cry- My prayer is that we always show compassion and love first- it is actually more important that the truth that comes later?
The question will come: Why?
There are a lot of wrong answers to the question of wounds and a few wrong responses to these happenings. I don’t have time to go into it in detail- but there is a growing Heresy within the evangelical church that is a new spin in age old unbiblical answers to these issues.
These heretics are not bad people- but unfortunately are giving advice that sounds good to the human ear, but really offers no real hope- in fact, in the end it robs them of a path to true recovery.
So hear me very clearly-God is great and God is good/ Great in that He is in control- He ordains these dark times and will use them to His glory. The very second you say that God is not in control, you began to rob Him of His Godness and you begin to believe that He is not trustworthy.
A surprising help to me is Psalm 107
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so- what is the so? Oh Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His steadfast Lord endures forever. Whom He has redeemed from trouble.
4-9 Some wandered- became hungry and thirsty- He led to straight way satisfies the longing. All of us are wanderers.
10-16 Some sat as prisoners- shadows of death- for they rebelled- example of substance abuse - you cannot escape- there are all kinds of dependency- the heart of the addict.
17-22 Some foolish- sowing and reaping-
23-32 Some just experienced storms of life- not making the team/ injury/ sickness
33-42- The general providence of God- divorce/bankruptcy/cancer/crime/ school authority and decisions of those in authority
Hear the promises in this Psalm:
Cry to the Lord and He delivered
Thank Him for His steadfast love
He satisfies- He fills the hungry
He brings them out of the shadow of death
He breaks the bonds- shatters iron and bronze bars
He delivers from distress
He sends His word and heals them
He delivers from destruction
He controls nature
He prospers
He shuts the mouth of the wicked
43- Attend to these things- consider the steadfast love- and SAY SO
TELL OTHERS OF HIS GOODNESS- EVEN IN THE MIDST OF PAIN.
IF YOU CAN HURT AND STILL PRAISE THE LORD…. YOU ARE REALLY LIVING!
IF YOU CAN HURT AND SERVE OTHERS… YOU ARE REALLY CARING!
IF LIFE CAN LET YOU DOWN AND YOU STILL FEEL JOY AND HOPE… YOU ARE REALLY READY FOR HEAVEN!
And here I am 2 years later- And I can fully say LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO- I WILL SAY HE IS GREAT AND HE IS GOOD! AMEN!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
This One Will Be Strange
OK- here we go-.... inspired by Eugene Peterson
Look at me- you laugh and I laugh. But it is too convoluted to sort out.
YOU LAUGH
So I realize now that the way God cares is so alien.... it is his strange ministers that make up His HOLINESS. He does seem intolerable careless about my scars and crosses- but He should be. Things I tremble at, He just shakes His head. Do I really know of loneliness and pain? 'Come on' He says, "Give me a break. Your powder puff- magic dragon God of expediency does not exist".
"But I get so tired of constantly defending You against the cynics and criers- especially those who walk around so disappointed in You. Some are sure You are not there- and they are mad at You for that."
"Well I'm tired of you thinking you have to defend me- that's the job of the stars and moon- and they do just fine- Thank-you."
I sit down in the sandstorm and feel the sting- the sandpaper grinds my flesh- a little layer at a time.
As I sit there, the greatest dragon I have ever encountered opens wide. His breath is nasty hot and his fangs are poised to strike.
At that point... I become the most surprised man on the planet.. I look with a steeliness and an anger and a vigor that I never felt before and I strike that dragon with a sword that had been hidden inside me- sharp and deadly.
I stand back up and the sand does not sting anymore. I finally get a little hint- faith is not the good life- it is the God-life.
The skeptics sneer at me still- 'false front' they say.
But my faith is on the line- and my love is on display. "No No" I say "Look at my gospel. It is not pretty and nice... it is authentic and true.- it is scratched, dented, beat up, and worn...but it sure looks good on me and feels so much like home....
I LAUGH
Because my lot is really easy and the burden is light..Faith means I have no knowledge of the next minute- there may be death/pain/loss/rejection/sickness/tragedy- but I persevere in the firm confidence that God's love NEVER leaves me.
I prayed about my cold heart- and God breaks it. He binds it back up- but it never stops leaking after that- and that leakage is streams of mercy.
So I laugh at my silly pity party- God smiles.
I look at my girls and thank Him- and discover that is the foundation of worship.
And then I see how good we are- what strong shape we are in- and find the greatest truth of all. It was NOTHING in me- it was ALL IN HIM.
And I laugh so hard I cry.
Bring on Christmas!
Look at me- you laugh and I laugh. But it is too convoluted to sort out.
YOU LAUGH
So I realize now that the way God cares is so alien.... it is his strange ministers that make up His HOLINESS. He does seem intolerable careless about my scars and crosses- but He should be. Things I tremble at, He just shakes His head. Do I really know of loneliness and pain? 'Come on' He says, "Give me a break. Your powder puff- magic dragon God of expediency does not exist".
"But I get so tired of constantly defending You against the cynics and criers- especially those who walk around so disappointed in You. Some are sure You are not there- and they are mad at You for that."
"Well I'm tired of you thinking you have to defend me- that's the job of the stars and moon- and they do just fine- Thank-you."
I sit down in the sandstorm and feel the sting- the sandpaper grinds my flesh- a little layer at a time.
As I sit there, the greatest dragon I have ever encountered opens wide. His breath is nasty hot and his fangs are poised to strike.
At that point... I become the most surprised man on the planet.. I look with a steeliness and an anger and a vigor that I never felt before and I strike that dragon with a sword that had been hidden inside me- sharp and deadly.
I stand back up and the sand does not sting anymore. I finally get a little hint- faith is not the good life- it is the God-life.
The skeptics sneer at me still- 'false front' they say.
But my faith is on the line- and my love is on display. "No No" I say "Look at my gospel. It is not pretty and nice... it is authentic and true.- it is scratched, dented, beat up, and worn...but it sure looks good on me and feels so much like home....
I LAUGH
Because my lot is really easy and the burden is light..Faith means I have no knowledge of the next minute- there may be death/pain/loss/rejection/sickness/tragedy- but I persevere in the firm confidence that God's love NEVER leaves me.
I prayed about my cold heart- and God breaks it. He binds it back up- but it never stops leaking after that- and that leakage is streams of mercy.
So I laugh at my silly pity party- God smiles.
I look at my girls and thank Him- and discover that is the foundation of worship.
And then I see how good we are- what strong shape we are in- and find the greatest truth of all. It was NOTHING in me- it was ALL IN HIM.
And I laugh so hard I cry.
Bring on Christmas!
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Biblical Passages for Those Who Parent or Work with Teens Pt 3
My blog over the next few weeks will be devoted to my work with students. Next year will mark 20 years that I have been involved in Christian Education and I wanted to reflect a little on my ministry philosophy and set some goals for the future- see the original blog at www.jayopsis.blogspot.com
PASSAGE 3- The Fruit of Faith Produces Obedience
This last passage is one that will take some very special and careful explanation. We all love this verse- how can it be any clearer? Our justification is purely Christ alone! Nothing can be added to Christ as the atonement for our sin. He paid it all and we simply receive this immeasurable gift by trust. We can not work or earn God’s favor- we do not merit it by good deeds- we can not add to it.
But the Scriptures do present a part 2. We do not believe in faith plus works- but we do hold to a faith that works. The amazing forgiveness we receive and the indescribable love that accomplished this feat compels us to follow the one who gave so much. Over time- an understanding of the gospel and the presence of God’s Holy Spirit should produce a general trend of obedient and abundant living. It is a slow process, it is a frustrating up and down, forward and back, existence- but there is ample Scripture to show that Christ died so that we may live- not to our ourselves- but to Him.
POTENTIAL PROBLEMS IN APPLICATION OF A SANCTIFICATION STANDARD OF OBEDIENCE
Now, the biggest mistakes we make in this area is when we (1) try to sanctify others or (2) buy into a false belief that education equals reformation.Let’s take these two things separately. As soon as I begin to grow in obedience and receive the blessings of living within God’s design I want others to join me. Often, this is a good intention- and it can serve a dual purpose: I want to celebrate success and bring someone with me. But before long I see a subtle and sinister root take hold- I begin to expect things in others that I have done myself. I begin to compare my successes with failure in others and at some point I begin to demand in others MORE than I expect in myself. In a short amount of time- I have walked away from the gospel of grace and built a prison of legalism and instead of loving others, I am oppressing them. How quickly I have abandoned salvation by grace through faith.
The second mistake is to accept the notion that education is the key to reform. This is a tough one, because my entire professional life has centered round the value of education. There is a noble use of education and also a diabolical one. In its purest noble application, education is about teaching skills of observation, communication, thinking logically, reading, writing, and mathematical computations to allow for a greater degree of knowing God and evaluating all of life by His truth.The potential problem of education and its diabolical application is producing knowledge that creates pride and artificial division of people. A Christian is NEVER anti science/technology/or knowledge- but he must see this pursuit as what it is- a result of the Biblical mandate to subdue and rule the earth as a good steward and not a power grab.
I guess the clearest example of this is what has transpired to human society in the wake of the enlightenment- once we elevate education over piety – it creates and unintended competition where we judge men according to academic credentials and not the content of character. And we begin to believe that advancements in knowledge will solve man’s biggest problems. The enlightenment, with all of it’s great achievements, unintentionally lifted up elites and gave them a voice based on knowledge, but not necessarily wisdom or morality. High intelligence has a hard time keeping an ego in check- and slowly trades questioning to cynicism or skepticism- and enthrones reason.As reason generates knowledge- it also creates power- and power in the hands of a man, especially one without a moral compass – can quickly generate oppression and greed.
Now, let me stop here and clarify what I am NOT saying. I am not saying that education is evil. I strongly lament the retreat that has happened in the evangelical world in regards to educational excellence and participation and I sadly admit to the intellectual laziness that places God in the gaps of knowledge and indulges in distraction and distaste for hard questions- we have no excuse here. What I am saying is that the church continues to evaluate progress on the city of man’s standards of intellectual arrogance and not the humility and gratitude of acknowledging that ALL TRUTH IS GOD’S TRUTH and placing everything under the authority of His Word.
Here is a subtle hint of how this is not ingrained in our current thinking. What do I spend the most time on and give the weightiest praise to? My daughter’s knowledge of the high priestly prayer in John 17 or her ACT score? What gets me more excited- her ability to speak in Spanish or her ability to quote Romans 1? Again- we should praise God if our children make a 29 on the ACT and get excited about foreign language… but wouldn’t it excite us if they loved the Bible so much that they read it….memorized it…used it… taught it…? And believe me, I am condemning myself as a parent as I write this.
PASSAGE 3- The Fruit of Faith Produces Obedience
Ephesians 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
This last passage is one that will take some very special and careful explanation. We all love this verse- how can it be any clearer? Our justification is purely Christ alone! Nothing can be added to Christ as the atonement for our sin. He paid it all and we simply receive this immeasurable gift by trust. We can not work or earn God’s favor- we do not merit it by good deeds- we can not add to it.
But the Scriptures do present a part 2. We do not believe in faith plus works- but we do hold to a faith that works. The amazing forgiveness we receive and the indescribable love that accomplished this feat compels us to follow the one who gave so much. Over time- an understanding of the gospel and the presence of God’s Holy Spirit should produce a general trend of obedient and abundant living. It is a slow process, it is a frustrating up and down, forward and back, existence- but there is ample Scripture to show that Christ died so that we may live- not to our ourselves- but to Him.
POTENTIAL PROBLEMS IN APPLICATION OF A SANCTIFICATION STANDARD OF OBEDIENCE
Now, the biggest mistakes we make in this area is when we (1) try to sanctify others or (2) buy into a false belief that education equals reformation.Let’s take these two things separately. As soon as I begin to grow in obedience and receive the blessings of living within God’s design I want others to join me. Often, this is a good intention- and it can serve a dual purpose: I want to celebrate success and bring someone with me. But before long I see a subtle and sinister root take hold- I begin to expect things in others that I have done myself. I begin to compare my successes with failure in others and at some point I begin to demand in others MORE than I expect in myself. In a short amount of time- I have walked away from the gospel of grace and built a prison of legalism and instead of loving others, I am oppressing them. How quickly I have abandoned salvation by grace through faith.
The second mistake is to accept the notion that education is the key to reform. This is a tough one, because my entire professional life has centered round the value of education. There is a noble use of education and also a diabolical one. In its purest noble application, education is about teaching skills of observation, communication, thinking logically, reading, writing, and mathematical computations to allow for a greater degree of knowing God and evaluating all of life by His truth.The potential problem of education and its diabolical application is producing knowledge that creates pride and artificial division of people. A Christian is NEVER anti science/technology/or knowledge- but he must see this pursuit as what it is- a result of the Biblical mandate to subdue and rule the earth as a good steward and not a power grab.
I guess the clearest example of this is what has transpired to human society in the wake of the enlightenment- once we elevate education over piety – it creates and unintended competition where we judge men according to academic credentials and not the content of character. And we begin to believe that advancements in knowledge will solve man’s biggest problems. The enlightenment, with all of it’s great achievements, unintentionally lifted up elites and gave them a voice based on knowledge, but not necessarily wisdom or morality. High intelligence has a hard time keeping an ego in check- and slowly trades questioning to cynicism or skepticism- and enthrones reason.As reason generates knowledge- it also creates power- and power in the hands of a man, especially one without a moral compass – can quickly generate oppression and greed.
Now, let me stop here and clarify what I am NOT saying. I am not saying that education is evil. I strongly lament the retreat that has happened in the evangelical world in regards to educational excellence and participation and I sadly admit to the intellectual laziness that places God in the gaps of knowledge and indulges in distraction and distaste for hard questions- we have no excuse here. What I am saying is that the church continues to evaluate progress on the city of man’s standards of intellectual arrogance and not the humility and gratitude of acknowledging that ALL TRUTH IS GOD’S TRUTH and placing everything under the authority of His Word.
Here is a subtle hint of how this is not ingrained in our current thinking. What do I spend the most time on and give the weightiest praise to? My daughter’s knowledge of the high priestly prayer in John 17 or her ACT score? What gets me more excited- her ability to speak in Spanish or her ability to quote Romans 1? Again- we should praise God if our children make a 29 on the ACT and get excited about foreign language… but wouldn’t it excite us if they loved the Bible so much that they read it….memorized it…used it… taught it…? And believe me, I am condemning myself as a parent as I write this.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Biblical Passages for Those Who Parent or Work with Teens Pt 2
My blog over the next few weeks will be devoted to my work with students. Next year will mark 20 years that I have been involved in Christian Education and I wanted to reflect a little on my ministry philosophy and set some goals for the future- see the original blog at www.jayopsis.blogspot.com
PASSAGE 2 - THE INEVITABLE ANTI-OUTCOME OR WHAT ARE WE RESISTING?
Passage 1 (yesterday) was more optimistic- be patient- God will get them where they need to be.
Passage 2 is more pessimistic- there is a downward spiral that doesn’t offer much promise to change.
Every time I read the above passage I get sad. I grieve over the slow decay of society and pray for renewal. Oh Lord please rend the heavens and delay this decay!
Yet, it is important to be realistic- the city of man will have a consistent testimony throughout history- and the bottom line is not a pretty picture.
G.K. Beale has a very interesting quote regarding this: “Worldliness is what any culture does to make sin seem normal and righteousness seem strange.”
The list above is where all of us are headed without an intervention. Don’t I see these base impulses in myself? At my core nature I am selfish-materialistic-arrogant and boastful- autonomous- slanderous, especially of the weak or downtrodden- an addict- an animal self and a diabolical self- pursuer of leisure and pleasure more than a pursuer of God- living in a Christ haunted land – holding to my rituals- but cold in my relationships. I am manipulative. The more I learn, the less I know. And the fruit is shameful.
The application of this verse is to combat the decay and the trend. What tools are at my disposal to see that this ‘default mode’ is resisted at every point?
Fortunately, the gospel takes aim right at the root of the issue. The renewal that comes in by embracing justification by grace through faith strikes a mighty blow to this cycle of cynicism and addiction. The employment of all the means of grace can stop and reverse these deadly trends and issues.
For me personally, and for those who dwell in these communities of faith, it is incumbent to encourage and stir one another up in love and good deeds- to memorize, study, and meditate on God’s Word, to assemble for worship, to proclaim Christ, and participate in the sacraments to fight against the domain of darkness.
Have we not grown weary of the ineffective programs and snappy slogans? We must all agree with Dr Martyn Lloyd Jones “ I am never tired of saying that the church does not need to embark on some new methodology or program but must herself start living the Christian life.”
What can we do to inspire young leaders to fight against this 'default mode'? This is my largest goal and constant prayer!
PASSAGE 2 - THE INEVITABLE ANTI-OUTCOME OR WHAT ARE WE RESISTING?
II TIMOTHY 3:1-9 "1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone."
Passage 1 (yesterday) was more optimistic- be patient- God will get them where they need to be.
Passage 2 is more pessimistic- there is a downward spiral that doesn’t offer much promise to change.
Every time I read the above passage I get sad. I grieve over the slow decay of society and pray for renewal. Oh Lord please rend the heavens and delay this decay!
Yet, it is important to be realistic- the city of man will have a consistent testimony throughout history- and the bottom line is not a pretty picture.
G.K. Beale has a very interesting quote regarding this: “Worldliness is what any culture does to make sin seem normal and righteousness seem strange.”
The list above is where all of us are headed without an intervention. Don’t I see these base impulses in myself? At my core nature I am selfish-materialistic-arrogant and boastful- autonomous- slanderous, especially of the weak or downtrodden- an addict- an animal self and a diabolical self- pursuer of leisure and pleasure more than a pursuer of God- living in a Christ haunted land – holding to my rituals- but cold in my relationships. I am manipulative. The more I learn, the less I know. And the fruit is shameful.
The application of this verse is to combat the decay and the trend. What tools are at my disposal to see that this ‘default mode’ is resisted at every point?
Fortunately, the gospel takes aim right at the root of the issue. The renewal that comes in by embracing justification by grace through faith strikes a mighty blow to this cycle of cynicism and addiction. The employment of all the means of grace can stop and reverse these deadly trends and issues.
For me personally, and for those who dwell in these communities of faith, it is incumbent to encourage and stir one another up in love and good deeds- to memorize, study, and meditate on God’s Word, to assemble for worship, to proclaim Christ, and participate in the sacraments to fight against the domain of darkness.
Have we not grown weary of the ineffective programs and snappy slogans? We must all agree with Dr Martyn Lloyd Jones “ I am never tired of saying that the church does not need to embark on some new methodology or program but must herself start living the Christian life.”
What can we do to inspire young leaders to fight against this 'default mode'? This is my largest goal and constant prayer!
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