Some began with a Sunday School lesson. One began with a guitar in 2016. Another came late at night while I was lying in bed, praying for my daughters.
I’m also learning a lot about how these songs take shape. The more specific I get with prompts—describing the sound, instrumentation, mood, and delivery—the more carefully I have to listen and understand what I’m asking for. It’s teaching me a lot about music.
I increasingly feel like a lyricist and a producer. Every song on this list went through many edits and different musical styles. Finding the right relationship between the words and the music takes patience. What you’ll hear this November grew out of writing, listening, revising, and trying again.
November 6 — Fugitive Fear
When I was eight or nine, I ran from a German Shepherd. I was so full of adrenaline that I cleared a chain-link fence. When I finally looked back, the dog wasn’t even chasing me!
That memory found its way into a song inspired by a Sunday School lesson I teach from 1 Kings 19, where Elijah runs from Jezebel. There’s something familiar in that story: when we run, our fear can grow. We imagine what’s behind us and keep picking up speed.
(Chorus) Help me stop running from my fugitive fear, It’s been chasing me down all these years. Out of time, out of fight, No more hiding in the night. Help me stop running from my fugitive fear.
Sometimes we need to stop long enough to look back. I’ve certainly spent some energy clearing fences I didn’t need to jump.
This song on SoundCloud has over 4,000 listens from 2 different versions.
November 10 — Difficult Daughters
This one came to me late one night, lying in bed and praying for my daughters.
As they’ve gotten older, I’ve had to learn how to connect with them as adults. I hear other dads talking about the same struggle. We love our children deeply, but understanding how to listen, when to speak, and how to help takes some learning.
There’s affection and a little humor in the title. There’s also a dad who is still figuring out his part.
I am really proud of this song- I love it. I have no clue if it will resonate with anyone at all.
Here is the entire song:
[Verse 1] I grew up in a house full of brothers, Every argument settled outside. You just punch each other in the shoulder, And be fishing again by five. Then you came to me with your feelings, bringing questions of pain and fear. I kept reaching around for a hammer, You kept saying”I just need you to hear” [Pre-Chorus] I said, “Tell me what you want me to do.” You said, “Sit there, look at me. Let me talk to you.” [Chorus] You roll your eyes at all the things your daddy doesn’t know. Somehow you still love me when I just don’t understand, I’m learning how to listen, you’re learning who I am. We laugh till we cry, sometimes cry till we laugh, Both say a little we wish we could take back. Difficult daughter, through the good times and the bad, I’m finding out you’ve been living with a difficult dad. [Verse 2] I’ve been outvoted on the music, Lifted up many Friday nights My “You’re wearing that?” from the doorway, Proved that never starts things right. But you’ll call me out when I’m stubborn, And you know when my “fine” isn’t true. I thought I’d be teaching you everything, Wasn’t counting on learning from you. [Pre-Chorus] Some nights I still get the whole thing wrong, But I’m getting better at staying that long. [Chorus] You roll your eyes at all the things your daddy doesn’t know. Somehow you still love me when I just don’t understand, I’m learning how to listen, you’re learning who I am. We laugh till we cry, sometimes cry till we laugh, Both say a little we wish we could take back. Difficult daughter, through the good times and the bad, I’m finding out you’ve been living with a difficult dad. bridge Now you’ve got a life I get glimpses of, And I’m learning when to leave things alone. But I love when you call for no reason, And it goes by quick on the phone. You say, “Dad, this family is something.” I say, “Yeah, and you’re telling me.” Then we laugh about whatever happened— Thank God you still tell it to me. (Chorus] You roll your eyes at all the things your daddy doesn’t know. Somehow you still love me when I just don’t understand, I’m learning how to listen, you’re learning who I am. We laugh till we cry, sometimes cry till we laugh, Both say a little we wish we could take back. Difficult daughter, through the good times and the bad, I’m finding out you’ve been living with a difficult dad. Outro My difficult daughter I love being your difficult dad.
November 13 — Just Now Figuring It Out
Getting older is strange. You gain some understanding of life, then wonder where all the years went while you were learning.
This song lives in that tension. There’s nostalgia, some regret, and the feeling that the fire inside hasn’t caught up with the face in the mirror.
“I don’t want youth to leave me now / Not when I’m just now figuring it out.”
My favorite section- my heart aches for this- but as Eddie Money sang in the 80's- "But I can't go back, I know"
If I could steal one more summer night Drive too fast, hold on too tight I’d tell that kid staring back at me Don’t waste what you can’t keep
November 17 — A Mercy Severe
Part of Winter Tunes Tuesday, this is probably the most complex song of the month. It explores the painful seasons we have to learn to embrace while trusting that God is still there and still cares.
When you pray really hard.... and God says "NO".
The title echoes the phrase “a severe mercy,” associated with C. S. Lewis. It captures something difficult about faith: sometimes the work of grace hurts.
I don’t always understand what God is doing. Faith sometimes means bringing that uncertainty into prayer and staying there.
This one deserves the entire lyrics as well- there are so many backgrounds to this song, going all the way back to posts I wrote The Gospel Confronts Addicts and Cynics in 2016.
Verse 1 Winter fell where dreams once stood, Bare branch prayers in frozen wood. A road I swore was meant to be Now disappears in white mystery. Regret hangs heavy like a silent hymn, But mercy calls through the northern wind. Pre-Chorus I’ve wrestled angels in the night, Fire and smoke in pale moonlight. When every comfort disappears, There’s a mercy—fierce and near. Chorus A mercy severe, that breaks but heals, A love that wounds so hearts can feel. Through the cold, through the pain, You shape my soul in snow and rain. It’s the mercy I fear, But it draws me near. Verse 2 Fear’s cold hands around my chest, Whispered lies I never confessed. I built my walls with frozen stone, Crowned myself, but ruled alone. Till grace moved in like thawing ground, And hope learned how to make a sound. Pre-Chorus The fields lie bare, the past undone, Yet mercy waits beneath the sun. Even loss has life to give When mercy teaches us how to live. Chorus A mercy severe, that breaks but heals, A love that wounds so hearts can feel. Through the cold, through the pain, You shape my soul in snow and rain. It’s the mercy I fear, But it draws me near. Bridge Every scar, every tear, Counts the seasons I survived this year. The pruning knife, the barren land, Are still held in a faithful hand. What looks like death, what feels unkind, Is mercy working overtime. Outro A mercy severe, relentless, true, It stripped me bare to make me new. In the long night, the frozen air, Your mercy remained— Fierce… but there.
November 20 — Feeling Reckless
I rewatched Vision Quest a few months ago, and it sparked this song.
There’s something stirring about giving yourself completely to a challenge—taking a chance, finding out what you have left, and letting yourself care enough to risk disappointment.
This one is a fun look at life and the desire to stop always playing it safe. I’m getting older, but I still want something worth leaving it all on the field for.
The irony is that I also have written about the problems of living reckless.... there is a balance there LOL.
November 24 — Rain on Me
This takes me back to the beginning: the first song I ever wrote on guitar, in 2016. I used to play it for my kids.
I probably will regret sharing this original recording - Rain on Me (2016)
It was a hot stretch of summer, and everything seemed to be begging for rain. That was the beginning of the song, and over time I’ve come to understand its meaning more deeply. Rain is a blessing. Dry ground knows it.
The version coming this month is much better than those early performances, but it carries that same simple prayer.
November 27 — Struck By
A news report about a man who survived a lightning strike sparked this song. I started playing with the thought that life strikes us in enough strange ways that lightning might hardly surprise us.
The years fly by, but a bad night takes its time. People with everything keep counting what they lack, while someone with almost nothing shares what he has. An empty chair somehow fills a room.
Here is a brief example from verse 2 (my favorite part of the song)
I’ve been struck by little people Who grow tall with borrowed power, And giants shrinking to their shadows When they finally face the hour. How we spend our youth in hurry, Then beg the years to slow, How the things we swore would matter Are the first things that we let go.
But the song eventually turns the mirror around. What strikes me most is how easily I recognize someone else’s faults and how slowly I see my own. Mercy sounds simple until I’m the one being asked to forgive.
There’s some humor in the idea of being harder to shock after enough years of living. There’s also a little confession. That feels like a fitting way to close November.
Seven songs from different corners of my life, arriving as the days get shorter. I hope you’ll find something familiar in them—a laugh, a memory, a little encouragement, or a reason to keep going.
Thanks for listening.
If you want a sneak listen to any of these- I have them on a SoundCloud playlist
