Wednesday, July 02, 2025

Slow Scholarship: Unexpected Treasure in an Unread Book

A few weeks ago, I checked out a book from our school library—a modest-looking volume from 1980, written by Edwin Cady, a professor at Duke University. The subject? Stephen Crane, the young literary firebrand who died at just 28 but helped shape the transition of American literature into realism and modernism.

It was 160 pages of well-argued, deeply informed analysis—dense, thoughtful, and rewarding. Cady's writing reminded me of a time when literary scholarship was slow, careful, and reverent. This wasn’t a book written for clicks or attention. It was written because the author believed Stephen Crane mattered, and that someone—someday—might want to understand him more deeply.

When I finished the book, I did something I often do with older library books—I looked at the checkout card in the back.

Only seven names were written on it.

One of those names belonged to a student of mine from 1994. I used to teach the research paper, and our students would explore American authors. This book, sitting quietly on a shelf since 1988, had been touched by a handful of students and faculty over nearly four decades.

And it hit me like a quiet thunderclap: this book—so full of thoughtful effort—had been largely unread. All that labor. All that scholarship. All that hope. And it had lived most of its life in silence.

It made me think of the closing scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark—where the Ark of the Covenant is boxed up and stored in a giant warehouse, lost in the endless sea of forgotten things. A relic with world-altering power, swallowed by bureaucracy and dust.

And I thought about unread books. All over the world. Thousands of them. The effort of writing them. The complex process of publishing and cataloging. And then... waiting. Waiting to be discovered. Or maybe never found at all.

Is It a Waste?

That’s the question that echoed in my mind.

Ecclesiastes says, “Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh” (12:12). There is wisdom in that. Life is more than footnotes and reference pages. But still—something about that unread book struck me as sacred, not weary.

Because maybe the worth of something isn’t tied only to how often it’s seen or used. Maybe there’s dignity in the waiting. Maybe faithfulness is more important than visibility.

That old volume reminded me that not everything good is popular. Not everything true is trending. And not everything with value is getting “engagement.”

Who Was Edwin Cady?

Most people today don’t know his name. Edwin H. Cady (1916–2003) was a literary scholar who gave his life to studying American realists—William Dean Howells, Stephen Crane, and others. He wasn’t flashy. He was thorough. Faithful to his craft.

Cady’s work represented a kind of “slow scholarship”—a long obedience in the same direction. He wasn't chasing fame. He was preserving knowledge. Shepherding meaning across generations. And maybe only seven people ever pulled that book from the shelf. But I was one of them.

And this week, I became the eighth. But my guess is that I may be the only one to actually read then entire book and not a student hurrying to find a quote for his paper.

Do People Still Care About Stephen Crane?

Outside of The Red Badge of Courage, Crane is fading from the public imagination. He wrote stories and war reports with a gritty, modern edge that predated Hemingway. His life was short but packed with brilliance.

And like many once-famous authors, his memory is slowly being tucked away into the dusty corners of forgotten culture. In a world dominated by short-form content, flashy summaries, and AI-written everything, who still takes the time to read Crane? Or write about him?

Maybe that's why I found Cady's book so moving. Because it wasn't just about Crane. It was about the act of remembering. Of choosing to care. Of pushing back against cultural amnesia.

A Warning and an Invitation

We’re living in a time when reading—real, sustained, thoughtful reading—is no longer a necessity. We consume summaries, snippets, headlines, and highlight reels. Attention spans shrink, and our appetite for depth fades with them.

But something is lost when we abandon books. We lose the ability to wrestle with nuance. We forget how to listen to voices from other centuries. We grow allergic to silence and stillness.

God has revealed Himself PRIMARILY in a written WORD- if we lose that skill, we are losing a weapon and wisdom.

Yet maybe the unread book is a quiet invitation.

To slow down.

To remember.

To dig up buried treasure.

Because some things only reveal their beauty when we give them time. Maybe that includes Stephen Crane. Maybe that includes old students from 1994. Maybe that includes parts of your own soul that are sitting—dormant—on the shelf, waiting to be opened again.

Let us not rush past the quiet things.
Let us not assume forgotten means worthless.
And let us remember: some of the greatest treasures in life are the ones patiently waiting to be found.

A Gospel Song and the Story Behind It

I woke up one morning and was thinking about how many of my recent projects seemed almost dystopian and dark. I wanted to write a song of salvation and 'The Gift' came from deep reflection on the gospel, a longing to communicate clearly the good news of Jesus: that salvation is not earned but received, not accomplished by us, but by the One who gave Himself in our place.

The chorus of this song holds the heartbeat:

Saved by grace, through faith alone,
Not by strength or deed I’ve done.
It is finished, it is won—
By the blood of the risen Son.

That line is nearly a paraphrase of one of the most important gospel summaries in Scripture:

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."
Ephesians 2:8–9

This entire song was shaped by Scripture. Let’s walk through it together, verse by verse, and connect it with the beautiful truths of the gospel story.


Verse 1: A Stained Soul Made Clean

Though my sins were crimson deep,
A stain I could not hide…

This lyric echoes Isaiah 1:18:

“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow…”

We’ve all been there—knowing the weight of sin, the deep mark of guilt we can’t scrub away. But God doesn’t leave us there:

“He washed me clean in mercy’s flood, now white as winter’s tide.”
— See Titus 3:5: “He saved us… by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.”

The chorus then enters with clarity and certainty—we are saved by grace through faith. Not by effort. Not by merit. But by the blood of the risen Son.


Verse 2: From Cross to Crown

He bore the cross, He wore my thorns,
The Lamb for sinners slain.

Isaiah 53:5–6; John 1:29

The cross is not just a symbol of suffering. It is the place of substitution. The innocent Lamb takes the place of the guilty.

“He crushed the night, rolled back the stone,
And rose to end the pain.”

That’s resurrection hope. The stone rolled away (Matthew 28:2), death defeated (1 Corinthians 15:55–57), and the pain of eternal separation ended for all who trust in Him.

“The law exposed my every fault,
But Love fulfilled its claim…”

Romans 3:20; Matthew 5:17

God’s law shows us our sin, but it also points to Christ, who fulfilled the law in our place and bore the curse for us (Galatians 3:13).


The Bridge: The Gospel in Declaration

This is the witness, this is the song:
In the Son, I now belong.
He who has the Son has life…

This is straight from 1 John 5:11–12:

“And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life.”

“…Not to condemn, but to restore—He opened wide salvation’s door.”

Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world but to save it (John 3:17). The cross was not the closing of a door, but the opening of heaven.

It is worth waiting for this bridge that comes pretty late in the song, is a nice worship element.


The Gift of God

So what is The Gift?

Not religion.
Not ritual.
Not reformation.

It is redemption—paid for by Christ, received by faith, and held forever by grace.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 6:23


A Final Invitation

If you’ve never received that gift, know this: the door is open. Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. You don’t have to clean yourself up. You don’t have to pretend to be better than you are.

You come with empty hands.
You come with faith.
And He gives you everything.

"But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God."
John 1:12


Listen to the Song

🎵 The Gift

May it be a reminder that the gospel isn’t just a message—it’s a miracle. A gift. Freely given. Forever held.

Tuesday, July 01, 2025

A Quiet Defense in a Loud World

Years ago, I was part of the apologetics speaking and writing circuit. I believe in the importance of defending the faith, but over time I became somewhat disillusioned. I watched people use truth like a club—playing verbal chess matches where the goal was to win, not to love. Audiences were often bored or combative, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something essential was missing.

What bothered me wasn’t the content—I still hold deeply to presuppositional truths in the tradition of Van Til and John Frame. I believe that all human reasoning begins with foundational beliefs, and that without Christ, the foundations collapse. But what began to feel off was the posture.

Too often, the apologetics world becomes a game of “gotchas,” where cleverness trumps compassion and the goal is to outwit the opponent. And while we may win the argument, we often lose the person. Somewhere along the way, the emphasis shifted from defense to dominance.

But the biblical model paints a different picture—one I find myself returning to again and again.

Peter writes:

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…”
—1 Peter 3:15

This is often quoted as a justification for sharp, reactive debates—but consider the context. Peter is writing to persecuted believers, people under real threat, and yet their lives were so radiant with hope that others felt compelled to ask, “How are you still standing?” The apologetic didn’t begin with an argument—it began with a life that glowed in the dark.

They weren’t out debating on corners. They were simply living with such supernatural steadiness that others were drawn to it. And when asked, they were ready—with gentleness, with reverence.

So how do we do that today—especially in a world that feels more than it thinks? Where attention spans are short, reading habits are shallow, and emotions often override logic?

Here’s what I’m learning:

  • Learn all the arguments—but don’t lead with them. Classical, evidential, presuppositional—they’re all valuable tools. But tools are meant to build, not to beat.

  • Let character lead content. A calm, humble, hope-filled Christian is more disruptive (in the best way) than any syllogism.

  • Speak in story and metaphor. Many people today need their imagination stirred before their intellect can awaken. Sometimes a song, a parable, or a moment of beauty does more than a lecture. I have a lot of people give me strange looks these days when I tell them I am publishing AI music... but I'm just trying to send messaging. It's free, nothing I do is monetized.. so maybe it reaches one person in Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh city where I have my biggest group of listeners right now.

  • Focus on the one. One-on-one conversations are where apologetics shines brightest. That’s where people feel safe to voice doubts, to wrestle honestly, and to meet the gospel in all its grace.

  • Ask better questions. Don’t just answer objections—listen deeply. Often the “intellectual” argument is hiding an emotional wound.

I still believe in apologetics. I still believe in truth. But more than ever, I believe in hope-filled apologetics—not abrasive, not performative, but deeply grounded in Christ and visibly different from the world around us.

That’s the calling I feel today: not to win debates, but to bear witness. In blog posts, in music, in quiet conversations over coffee.

Hope without the hype.
Questions without the snark.
Truth, spoken in love.

If that sounds like a contradiction in today’s culture, maybe it’s exactly what we need to recover.

Song: Quiet Defense in a Loud World

Meeting House: A Fictional Conversation With a Cynical Genius

How a TV Show, Apologetics, and a Thought Experiment Collided

Back in 2011, my daughters and I discovered the medical drama House, M.D.—and we loved it. Dr. Gregory House, portrayed brilliantly by Hugh Laurie, was captivating: sharp, cruel, brilliant, and deeply wounded. He solved medical mysteries while pushing away anyone who cared about him. House was a paradox—an addict, a genius, a man tormented by physical and emotional pain. And I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

As a fun writing exercise (and maybe as a spiritual provocation), I imagined what it would be like to engage House in a series of conversations about faith, truth, pain, and God. I was studying presuppositional apologetics at the time, and this became a kind of thought experiment: Could a guy like House ever entertain the gospel?

I published a few posts about it online. People responded. One former football parent even emailed me, concerned about the "doctor who was giving me a hard time"—not realizing it was fiction!

So now, over a decade later, I’ve gone back and revised those entries into one cohesive story. If you watched House, it’ll make more sense. If not—imagine Sherlock Holmes with a limp and Vicodin addiction, but instead of solving crimes, he diagnoses rare diseases while insulting everyone in the room.

This isn’t theology. It’s not even entirely fiction. It’s a portrait of how real pain, skepticism, and faith can intersect in powerful, uncomfortable ways.

About the show: House, M.D. was a medical drama that aired on FOX from 2004 to 2012, starring Hugh Laurie as the brilliant but abrasive Dr. Gregory House. Set at the fictional Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey, the show followed House and his diagnostic team as they unraveled complex medical mysteries.

What set the show apart wasn’t just the cases—but House himself. An atheist, drug-addicted misanthrope with a cane, a Vicodin addiction, and zero tolerance for small talk, House embodied a brutal kind of honesty. His motto, "Everybody lies," shaped his worldview and his approach to medicine—and to people.

Despite his arrogance and cynicism, audiences were drawn to House’s pain, brilliance, and occasional glimpses of vulnerability. He was Sherlock Holmes with a stethoscope—and often just as emotionally detached. The show combined razor-sharp dialogue, philosophical tension, and moral complexity, making it one of the most compelling character studies on TV.

I hope you enjoy it.


🩺 “Meeting House”: The Story

I don’t know how long it took before Dr. Gregory House finally acknowledged me. I had long since decided he never would—and, frankly, I didn’t expect him to.

I didn’t feel worthy of the conversation. I was a Bible teacher and football coach—not a theologian. I wasn’t fasting or praying like I should’ve been. And yet… House responded.

Of course, I wasn’t even sure it was him. Could be a prank. Could be bait for humiliation. Or maybe—just maybe—he was curious.

My iPhone buzzed:

"Your persistence has annoyed me long enough. How do I press CANCEL?"

That was it. After months of texts with no reply—there he was.


📨 The Outreach

Here’s what I had sent him (various versions over time):

“Dr. House, I’m a football coach and Bible teacher. I’ve admired your work from afar. You’ve articulated a strong view that God doesn’t exist. I’d love a short, private window of time to challenge that worldview—no agenda, no publicity, and I don’t expect to persuade you. But I’d like a friendly back and forth. I’m your ally, not your enemy.”

No reply. Not even a “Stop.” So I kept trying—once in a while, a new message, a sincere tone.


🔍 A Strange Clue

One week, I noticed a spike in blog visits—especially to my apologetics posts. The source was a .edu domain.

Then came the text.

I replied:

“Thanks for responding. All you have to do is say STOP and I’m gone. But maybe, if you give me one conversation, you can decide whether this exercise is even worth continuing.”


☎️ The Game Begins

At 2:00 a.m. one night, my phone rang.

“Did I wake you?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Say ‘niiiiice whiiite riiice’ with a southern drawl.”

I said it.

“Already disappointed. But you’ve annoyed me enough that I want to play now. I’ll call you from time to time. No pleasantries. I ask, you answer. We’ll continue until I’m bored, you give up, or I convince you there is no God.”

Click.


📵 A Pattern of Calls

That was the start of a strange rhythm. Random calls—mostly in the middle of the night. He’d throw out classic apologetics challenges:

“If God is good and God is God, why are children dying?”

“Are gay people going to hell?”

“Do you believe in evolution?”

I’d start to answer… and he’d hang up. Sometimes right before the answer got rolling. Other times mid-sentence.

One time he told me:

“You have no passion. Your answers are polished, safe, and ultimately worthless.”

That one stung. Not because I believed it—but because I wondered if he was right.


✈️ The Invitation

Then came the unexpected:

“You’re flying to Princeton. Five days. You’ll stay at the Nassau Inn. I’m paying. Someone from the hospital will arrange the travel. See you Thursday.”

What had I gotten into?


🏨 Princeton, New Jersey

I arrived exhausted and uncertain. What was this? A trap? A prank?

House met me at the hotel lobby—taller than I imagined. He limped in, leaned on his cane, and said:

“Let’s take a walk.”

I walked. He rode a Segway. He narrated campus history like a tour guide on autopilot. Albert Einstein, Presbyterian roots, academic accolades.

Finally, coffee. He paid.

“You wanted to be here. GO.”

I tried to speak thoughtfully. He snapped:

“No, go. Don’t hedge. Don’t do that southern soft shoe. No bush-beating. Say what you came to say.”

I stumbled out a few honest words about caring, about mystery, about not knowing my own motives. Something in that broke through.

He nodded. And then he told me:

“I’ve read everything you’ve posted. You are genuine—but needy. You want validation. You think I’m famous, and if I approve of you, then you matter more.”

I pushed back: “So does that make my faith false?”

He paused.

“Your faith is delusional. Harmful. I believe in the transcendental argument for the non-existence of God.”

I laughed. “You’re not the first.”

“So why are you here?” he asked. “You won’t change me.”

“I came to let you see. See the pain. See the questions. See the darkness. And maybe see that the light holds.”

We sat there for a long time. Coffee cooled. Our eyes met.

“Then let’s try to turn on all the light,” I said.

And we both laughed.


✝️ Why It Still Matters

This story didn’t “convert” House. It’s not really about that. What it did was force me to confront my own motivations—my own heart. It reminded me that faith isn’t a debate to win, but a light to hold up in dark places.

Some people need answers. Others need empathy. And some, like House, need a fellow limping soul to walk beside them—even for just a few steps.


“Life is too short and the gospel is too good to spend time living as a poser.” – Rev. David Filson